


Sensor's Fate

by Foodmoon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Being a sensor comes at a steep cost, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Violence and Death, Mildly crack, Sensors are prized, Some dark and angsty musings, War, discussions of peace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-09-15 14:12:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16934736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foodmoon/pseuds/Foodmoon
Summary: A continuation of peppymint's one-shot 'Match' from chapter 3 of her Children of War fic.Tobirama wakes up to find himself alive. Then he realizes it'sMadaracarrying him. His fated soulmate, clan's most feared enemy, and his doom. Because if a sensor's soulmate doesn't accept them, the sensor dies painfully as their body turns on them.





	1. "Every Action Causes an Equal and Opposite Reaction"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peppymint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppymint/gifts), [raendown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raendown/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Children of War](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738936) by [peppymint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppymint/pseuds/peppymint). 



> This is not what I went to write. haha. But I think it came out okay? Unsure if I'll add to it.  
> In other news, after writing this bit I finally did get most of a scene done on one of the two other fic chapters I'm currently picking at, trying to finish up older stories/series. So hopefully I'll get something else posted this week.
> 
> In this one, Madara is not a sensor, for purposes of the story.
> 
> Feel free to start with peppymint's lovely oneshot first, if the starting point is confusing. And don't forget the one-shot by raendown that inspired peppymint! [This](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10512390/chapters/26222232)  
> Both works are in past tense, and I almost went with that, but I write all my fanfics in present tense, and my original ones in past tense, so I stuck with present tense.

Tobirama wakes to find the deathly ache in his bones and the raw pain in his chest faded to merely the ache of a particularly bad flu, as if a healer of his brother’s caliber has spent hours healing him.

_Oh. No. No, no, no._

His eyes fly open in panic before it occurs to him that there is no foreign chakra in his system. Hashirama’s chakra is familiar and beloved, but still _foreign_. For a moment, as his panic calms slightly, his eyes don’t register what he’s seeing. For a moment he thinks nothing of seeing dark eyes and hair and pale skin. Izuna had been there after all. Then his eyes focus, something they’ve protested recently. _Imagine that_. His eyes focus and he chokes, panic returning 3-fold as he _sees_ that the person touching him, holding him close is _Madara._

_“No! Izuna said-!”_

“Hush.”

He can’t help the sound of deep distress that slips out before he bites down on it. “It wasn’t enough that I’m dying? You wanted to _watch_ me die?”

“If that’s what I wanted, all I had to do is stand there. I fail to see why it bothers you that I might want to, however, since you were letting Izuna do just that.” Madara replies blandly.

The confirmation phrased as denial stabs him deeply, restricting his lungs painfully. A deep, ragged cough wracks him, moisture starting to his eyes from the force of it, and he turns his head aside to feebly spit out blood. _Too weak. Too weak to fight, too weak to spit properly._ He wishes there was some satisfaction in getting his blood on Madara, as the bloody drool stains the Uchiha’s sleeve, but there’s only the ache of failing. Failing to avoid shattering his brother’s dream with his death, despite his best effort.

“Are you _crying_ because you’re not going to die after all?” Madara asks, tone incredulous.

Tobirama favors him with a venomous glare, ignoring the moisture on his lashes. “Do you think me a fool? You have no reason to spare a Senju.”

There is a cackle of laughter from Izuna a few feet away, and he flinches. He had _trusted_ his rival, his long term foe. _The more fool him._

“You are a fool, Senju.” Madara tells him haughtily, echoing his thoughts eerily. “I’m not going to _kill_ you or _let you die_. I’m going to use you to force your clan into a treaty they have no choice but to keep.”

_He what…!?_

“Why?” Tobirama is aware that he sounds like a bewildered child more than a suspicious shinobi, but he really doesn’t understand. His head is uncharacteristically fuzzy and he hates it. “You’ve rejected all of my brother’s attempts to make peace between our clans. Why would you need to force something he already wants?”

Madara sneers down at him. “Hashirama may share my dream of peace, but you and the rest of your clan are like a few in my clan. Backstabbing warmongers.”

Tobirama stares at him.

Funny. He’s can’t say he hasn’t occasionally thought the same thing of Madara, despite Hashirama’s opinion of him. But well…

 _Whatever_. If being a hostage is what it takes to end the vicious feud between the clans, he can live with that. If Madara _actually_ believes in peace, he can tolerate whatever spiteful measures Madara forces on him to keep him alive and ‘harmless’. Though really, harmless is pretty much guaranteed, given that there is simply no way he can see for Madara to _truly_ accept him, and determination to keep him alive will only mean he dies by fractions of inches instead of at the steady progression he has been suffering. Given how close he is to death right now, perhaps a couple years at most instead of the few hours he’d had left.

As for his clan, even holding Tobirama as hostage won’t buy the Uchiha much extra in the way of concessions. The elders have lived too long, and seen too many die to leave the clan at the mercy of enemies for the sake of one person, no matter Hashirama’s opinion on it.

 _Not,_ he suspects, _that he has much say in it at this point._ He’s too weak to struggle, particularly after the coughing fit, and Madara telling him that he’s not going to let him die has eased the pain and shortness of breath to the duller thing he’d woken with. Perhaps he should hate the man for having so much power over him with a few words, but he can’t be bothered.

~

Izuna stares at his rival, laying lax and only half conscious across Madara’s lap as the elders bicker with Madara over his fate and Madara strokes the silver hair absently, and wonders. How grave a disservice has he done Tobirama in having Madara spare him his fate? He feels faintly guilty, because if the elders have their way, Tobirama will die a slow, slow death, neither rejected nor accepted by Madara, locked away, senses blinded by chakra seals.

And yet.

For Madara’s dream, as odd as it feels to support it, dooming Tobirama to such is worth it. Still, what they’re speaking of is foolishness. The Senju won’t feel compelled to keep a treaty if it means that their heir dies by painful inches while they keep it and doesn’t live beyond a year or two. Perhaps Hashirama’s frequent pleas for peace have blinded them to his nature. Even Izuna isn’t _that_ blind. Hashirama may be foolishly stubborn about ignoring the fact that the clans have been feuding for generations and have taken it to bitter extremes in their fathers’ lifetimes, but that won’t extend to forgiving Madara if his only brother dies such a death. No more than Madara would be able to forgive it in Hashirama’s place. And despite Madara’s accusation, they all know backstabbing isn’t in Tobirama’s nature. Not when he can subvert the very laws of nature to his will and kill one face to face. Preferably with something very sharp, explosive, or watery. Not when he could have used his death to make the war worse and instead chose to suffer silently so it would have an unspoken chance to end in peace.

Madara is slowly turning red in the face and Izuna intervenes when it looks like he’s about ready to katon the elders and be done with them.

“You’re all overlooking something. Madara is Tobirama’s mate, therefore Tobirama _belongs_ to Madara. He’s basically an Uchiha now. The fact that we can use him to force the Senju’s compliance is just a nice bonus.” He pauses a moment to savor the _‘kicked in the face’_ looks the elders wear. “Treat him well and assure him of Madara’s acceptance of him and we gain a peerless sensor to our gain against other foes. And even if the Senju don’t cooperate or try to betray us, they won’t have him on their side. They won’t have Hashirama either, because that sap won’t do something to endanger his only brother. You want to throw away that advantage for the pleasure of being petty over past grievances? Before you start ranting about how justified those grievances are, think on this: What you’re talking about amounts to slowly torturing him to death. What do you think Madara would do if the Senju were holding me hostage and slowly torturing me to death, hm? Do you really want to go back to the days of the Senju hunting our children? Or for Hashirama, who has the ability to turn every plant and wooden thing against us, to suddenly start taking this feud seriously instead of constantly trying to end it? If you want the Uchiha to die _that_ badly, perhaps you should retire and give your positions to those who actually _care_ about the future of our clan.”

There is dead silence, the elders casting looks at Madara as if expecting him to defend their position, their faces rather pale at the specters of possibility that he has thrust in their faces so bluntly. Unsurprisingly, Madara lets them stew.

Finally, Madara nods, and gets to his feet with Tobirama lying limply in his arms. “Hashirama has never seriously tried to kill me because he wants peace. Now that we’ve all agreed that you’re wasting my time, I’m going to go take care of _my_ sensor. And you lot can turn your questionable common sense to coming up with terms for a peace treaty that will actually benefit both sides enough that the Senju will be actually inclined to keep to it for reasons beyond Tobirama. Izuna, come with me. I need to send Hashirama a note, letting him know that we have his brother.”

“Of course, Aniki.” Izuna favors the elders with a scathingly amused smile as he rises gracefully to follow Madara.

  _Fools_.

They’d only been able to keep Madara from acting on his desire for peace thus far because Izuna hadn’t supported what he’d regarded as a pipe dream. They would do well to remember that Izuna, too, is Tajima Uchiha’s son and exactly what that means. He can be as cruel as needed to accomplish his goals. Or Madara’s goals, in this case. With Tobirama in their hands, they finally have a _real_ chance for peace, not just a dream made of pretty words and empty promises. If they get in the way, well…

_Never let it be said that Izuna can’t be just as petty and vindictive as any other member of his clan. His mangekyo isn’t for show. And he doesn’t value the egos or lives of a few petty elders over the well-being of his clan._

~

Madara watches as Tobirama stirs and lifts his head, red eyes hazed with sleep. As with the previous time he woke, it seems to take him a moment to focus and register Madara’s presence. Unlike then, he doesn’t visibly panic this time.

Instead, he asks in a vaguely curious tone, “Not that I’m objecting to not waking up in chains and chakra seals, but is there a reason I’m lying on you? Naked?”

“I had Izuna help me bathe you, but you reacted badly when out of skin contact with me, when I took time to get clean myself.” Madara informs him calmly. “You’re mine now; I’m hardly going to let you suffer.”

His eyes widen, then a flush dusts his cheeks. “Oh.”

Madara pauses in rubbing tiny circles on his back to slide a hand up and press Tobirama’s head back against his shoulder before Tobirama hurts himself with the effort of holding his head up. _The younger man is obviously straining with the effort, the fine tremors conducting themselves clearly given how in close contact they are._ It makes Madara far too aware of how young the other is, how fragile. “Rest. You need it.”

Tobirama huffs a sigh, but acquiesces, relaxing against Madara again.

It’s almost cute. _Cute? This enemy, not-enemy, best friend’s little brother cute?_ Madara’s eyes narrow at the thought. _He did **not** think that!_ “You seem pretty comfortable with this.”

“Should I not be?”

“Honestly you don’t strike me as someone familiar with this. Shouldn’t you be struggling and complaining? Threatening me with your brother should he find out?”

Tobirama makes a sound that could be mistaken as a laugh. “Have you _met_ Hashirama? He’s a cuddler and doesn’t see the point of wearing clothes to bed. And he runs almost as hot as you do. It’s lovely in the winter. We all used to crawl in bed with him to keep warm in the winter. Although, admittedly, _I_ usually have clothes on.”

“Usually?” He feels a flicker of…something.

“You can’t tell me that you’ve never come home from a battle so weary that all you managed was stripping off filthy clothes and armor before collapsing into sleep.” Tobirama replies, sounding puzzled at the question.

 _Oh. Of course. Hashirama’s not that kind, there’s no reason to be jea-_ … He’s _not_ jealous. There’s no reason to be jealous. Tobirama is _his_ sensor now and…

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. I can feel your brain overheating.”

 _What?_ “Excuse me?”

“Are you sure you’re not Hashirama’s grumpy twin, separated at birth? I swear, now I understand why the two of you are friends. You are stupidly alike in some things, aren’t you?” Tobirama sounds fondly exasperated.

“Hush.” Madara grumps. He’s fairly certain that Tobirama has just decided to treat him like a second Hashirama, and he’s really _not sure_ what he thinks about that. Izuna will probably laugh himself sick as soon as he figures it out, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama is pretty out of it the first time he wakes.  
> Someone proposed the thought that if Sasuke was Madara's reincarnation, wouldn't that make Itachi Izuna's reincarnation? And I thought, _"Well...that says interesting things about Izuna, now doesn't it?"_ So that's where some of his musings come from.  
> I think Madara's doomed to get attached too easily in my fics. _DOOMED!_


	2. Beginnings of Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama and Madara exchange notes, Tobirama deals with wearing Uchiha clothing, etc.

Hashirama breaks the seal on the message from Madara, curious as to why he’s choosing to use a hawk to send a message, and squints at the chicken scratches Madara apparently thinks are writing.

*Your brother is in our care. The Uchiha will agree to a peace treaty on our terms.

~Izuna

P.S. I’m writing this for Madara because Tobirama keeps trying to hack up a lung every time Anija quits touching him.* 




He blanches.

“Clan leader, what is it?” Shima inquires as he enters Hashirama’s office just then, a note of concern in his voice. “And we still haven’t found Tobirama. Or his body. Hopefully he’s just off doing something strange again.”

Hashirama hands the note to his cousin wordlessly.

Shima reads it slowly, then reads it again, and again. “This…This sounds like Tobirama went off to die because he discovered _Madara Uchiha_ was his match, and the two of them found him in time to save him? Or defeated him? The elders are going to have a fit. Why would they save him and demand peace, though? Hasn’t Madara refused to discuss it with you?”

He groans and rubs his hands over his face. “Who knows? He can be a paranoid bastard, and Izuna’s always been less open to the idea than Tobirama. It’s entirely possible that he just took pity on Tobirama because neither of us want to lose our last sibling. What I want to know is how he finally convinced Izuna.”

“Do you think he’s sincere, then? Because this could be meant to ambush you and take you out of the picture along with Tobirama. And the clan…I don’t know if we’d survive if that happened. You’re the only one who can take on Madara, and even Izuna would be difficult for any one of us to take on.”

 _Shit. It could be._ “I think he is. But I’ll demand proof of life and health before I agree to meet.”

“What will you do if you don’t get it?”

Hashirama tilts his head back and stares at the ceiling in silence for long moments, then sighs and looks back at Shima. “I don’t know. I’ll decide if it comes to that.”

~

Izuna breaks the seal on the message that came back with the hawk and squints at the writing. “What does this say?”

Madara rolls his eyes. “Give it here.” He takes it and frowns. “*Madara, I…am pleased? Something, something. Proof? Something, something. And …wealth?*” Absently, he moves it out of the way as Tobirama reaches for it sleepily. “I can tell his writing is excellent, but how is it so illegible?”

Tobirama frowns slightly and drops his hand. “He learned to write poems like that so that our father wouldn’t be able to tell what he was writing without giving himself a headache, so he wouldn’t get yelled at for acting like a silly samurai noble. I suggest using your sharingan to decipher it, if you don’t want me to read it to you.” There is a moment of silence, then Tobirama grins deviously. “I’d say you have an excellent chance of being able to decipher it with your sharingan, since you got that much out of it using normal sight. And after two or three letters, you’ll have the style memorized and be able to read it without hesitation, I’m sure.”

Both Uchihas give the grin a long, leery look.

Then Madara realizes that if he uses the sharingan to decipher it…well, he’d rather not have Hashirama’s florid writing style and response burned into his memory permanently. Without a word, he drops the note into Tobirama’s hand.

His smirk turns into surprise for a split second, then he fumbles the messenger scroll for a moment, bringing it up to where he can see it properly with still-shaky hands. He blinks at it for a few moments before reading aloud.

“*Madara, I am pleased that you have finally decided to make peace between our clans a priority. Forgive me, but to appease the more cautious in my clan, before I can agree to meet with you, I must ask for proof of my brother’s life and health.

~Your friend, Hashirama.

P.S. Izuna, thank you for letting me know that Madara is Tobirama’s match. Nothing could bring me more joy than to see them happy together. Don’t you agree?*”

Tobirama gives Izuna a judging stare.

Izuna makes a weirded out grimace and asks, “Why is your brother so _weird?_ All I mentioned was that I was writing for Madara because he had his hands full with you. He makes it sound like a magnificent romance with imminent wedding bells.”

Madara gives Izuna a disgusted look. “Now who’s reading things into another’s words? Hashirama’s just irretrievably perpetually optimistic.”

Tobirama drops his hands wearily, and huffs in amusement. “Touka maintains that our grandmother dropped Hashirama on his head as a baby, but I’m pretty sure he was just born an irritatingly stubborn dreamer.”

“Probably.” Madara agrees, not specifying which part he agrees with. Either seem like reasonable explanations to him.

~

Tobirama, though glad to be able to go even a short time not in Madara’s arms without ill side-effects, stares at the clothes Madara offers him.  “Just tattoo the Uchiha symbol on my forehead, why don’t you?”

Madara gives him a surprised look. “Well, I can if you prefer.”

“No.”

“Hn. … No need to be fussy about the clothes. It’s not like we have a lot of garments without the Uchiha symbol on them. Besides, it will make the clan hesitate before attacking you if I’m not by your side.”

Tobirama raises a brow at him, but Madara probably has a point about the clothes even if it annoys him down to his toes to admit it, even to himself. _Not that he really wants to find out what Madara will do if he refuses to wear them._ Given that Madara and Hashirama are far too much alike for his peace of mind, refusing will almost certainly result in ignominious humiliation for him. The only real question is what form it would take. All in all, he’d rather observe someone else being the victim of such than suffering it himself.

In general, he’s of the opinion that pranks are only funny if one is not the butt of them. Or, _given Hashirama’s penchant for dramatic gestures,_ in the near vicinity of the chosen victim. He sincerely doubts that Madara is any less dramatic, given how similar he and Hashirama have unexpectedly proved to be so far.

With a sigh, he starts changing clothes, irritated when he needs Madara’s help halfway through because he’s still too weak to do much on his own. “So why, exactly, do I need to wear your clothes? It’s not as if I can wander around yet.”

Madara coughs and looks a bit embarrassed. “When we sent you clothes to be washed, one of the women threw them in the fire. Since she was alone, no one saw it and they were not rescued. She has been reprimanded. Your armor is…intact, but I hardly think being dressed solely in your armor will make your brother’s messenger inclined to think you are being decently treated.”

Tobirama stares at him for a full minute.

“I don’t suppose you thought to send orders that they _weren’t_ to be destroyed when you sent them to be cleaned?”

“Tch.” Madara’s sound of disgust is eloquent.

~

He admits to surprise at his brother’s choice of representative to check on his well-being; he would’ve expected Touka or Souma before Shima. Apparently his surprise is evident in his face, because Shima gives him a dry look.

“Souma said he’d be more likely to kill an Uchiha or six than manage to not draw weapons. Touka said she refused to come near the Uchiha after the way one of them leered at her last week.”

“I was not leering!”

Everyone turns to stare at the indignant elder, who is one of the most adamant anti-Senju proponents in the clan. The man flushes and twists his fingers together under the stares.

“She just reminded me of my wife’s sister as a young woman. I _wasn’t_ leering!”

“I see.” Izuna says drolly. “Moving on to other subjects than mistaken motives.”

Amusement glints in Shima’s eyes. “If it makes you feel better, Uchiha-san, I don’t believe it was you she was complaining about unless she somehow mistook you for a teenage boy. I will, however, be sure to mention your regard to her.”

The elder bristles, opens his mouth, and then closes it again with a snap.

Madara glowers. “Senju-san, are you satisfied with Tobirama’s condition?”

Shima gives him a cool look, then extends his hands to Tobirama, who suddenly remembers that his cousin _has_ a form of sensor talent of very limited scope that relies on touch, and shakily takes his hands.

“Hm. If you would move away so you are no longer touching him, Madara-sama?”

Black eyes glint red for a moment, then Madara does so with obvious reluctance.

Shima takes his time, and he _knows_ his cousin is mostly doing it to make the Uchiha sweat, then finally nods and releases his hands. “Very well, I am satisfied that Madara-sama is Tobirama’s match and that he is being taken care of to an acceptable extent at this time. As long as that continues to be the case, the Senju are open to further negotiations towards peace. Hashirama-sama has given me limited authority as his ambassador to go through the basic terms both clans wish to discuss within the treaty at this time, and has asked that the Uchiha likewise designate an ambassador who will be allowed limited access to Senju lands for the purpose of discussing terms of the treaty. Once the terms are set to the satisfaction of both clans, he suggests that the signing be held on neutral ground and include both clan heads at that time.”

All the Uchiha present bristle briefly, and Madara pulls Tobirama into his lap with a huff of annoyance.

Tobirama settles against him more comfortably, then yanks a lock of spikey hair tickling his neck. “You don’t really think the elders are going to let Anija risk himself with me in your hands, do you? At least you can trust Shima to convey Anija’s intentions exactly, unlike a few others I could name.”

Madara huffs again. “Fine. It’s a good idea. Izuna-”

“Hikaku will be our ambassador.” Izuna cuts across him, his tone conveying that he’s answering a question instead of contradicting his brother’s decision. “He’s old enough and smart enough to be taken seriously, and young enough that he doesn’t rabidly hate all Senju on principle.”

That garners him several flat looks, but Izuna ignores them brightly. They all know age has nothing to do with it. More likely, Hikaku is someone who Madara and Izuna can trust to not make the feud worse instead of brokering a peace treaty, someone who _wants_ peace. Not to mention, someone who _isn’t_ the clan heir. _Smart._ Even Hashirama would have difficulty preventing the clan from simply taking Izuna hostage in return, given such a golden opportunity. Apparently Izuna has as much experience dealing with Madara’s idiotic impulses as Tobirama does with Hashirama’s.

Shima nods. “Very well, Hikaku Uchiha will be considered the Uchiha ambassador to the Senju. Substitutions will require prior notification between clan heads to avoid any attempts at sabotage via false ambassadors. As for basic terms, to be expounded on later, what were you thinking to begin with?”

Somewhere amidst the negotiations, Tobirama loses his sharp focus and slowly drifts off, senses immersed in the comfort that is the feel of Madara’s chakra against his. Flame and ash and the dusty/refreshing sense of pine trees.

~

Tobirama has perhaps gotten a bit _too_ used to having Madara’s hands on and around him, because he pays no attention as Madara reaches around him, something in his hands, and then fastens what feels like a soft leather choker with a pendant around his throat. Granted, his inattention is _partly_ due to the ancient genealogical record he’s currently squinting at, slowly parsing the crabbed and archaic writing. While it’s not particularly fascinating, it _is_ something he’s not had access to before, given that it is an Uchiha record.

That is, he doesn’t pay attention, until he feels Madara activate a chakra lock on it. Then he lifts his head and twists slightly to frown at him. “What-?”

Madara grins at him and pats his shoulder. “Well, it’s not a forehead tattoo, but it’s less likely to send the Senju into a frothing rage.”

His eyes narrow and he lifts his hand to trace over the pendant, since it doesn’t hang low enough for him to get a proper look at it. Sure enough, the front has the Uchiha fan embossed on it. _He should have known. How very Hashirama-like of Madara to take his sarcasm as an actual request. Idiots, both of them._ “Does this mean I get clothes without the Uchiha crest embroidered on them?”

Madara pouts slightly at his unenthusiastic reaction, then tilts his head in consideration. “Maybe after the treaty is signed. I don’t know what you have against people knowing you’re an Uchiha now.”

Tobirama resists the urge to sigh deeply and facepalm. _Maybe because he was born Senju and the two clans have been feuding for time out of mind? And technically he’s **not** an Uchiha? And…_ No, he’s not going to argue this with Madara; he doesn’t want to deal with the hurt feelings and moping that will result. Or well…possibly temper tantrum, given that Madara’s grumpier than Hashirama. Instead, he replies with a mild, not very pertinent truth. “I look like a ghost in dark colors.”

“You always look like a ghost.” Madara says, perplexed.

He gives him a very dry look that conveys exactly how unwelcome that opinion is, and pointedly goes back to reading. _Giving idiots encouragement just deepens the morass of idiocy, and he has no intention of participating in that._ Madara can find someone else willing to explain it to him. Or figure it out on his own, though he gives low odds of that, since genius idiots somehow manage to be denser than regular idiots in his experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama's not concerned about the choker. It doesn't restrict his breathing, and even though it's chakra locked so he can't unfasten it, there's nothing special about the leather that would prevent him from simply cutting it off if he wanted to. Perhaps he should have checked the back as well as the front of the pendant, however, before settling on his reaction.~
> 
> Anyways...thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?  
> I don't really have much in the way of ideas beyond maybe a chapter or two more. Partly it's just winter weather blues, and partly that December somehow always manages to be insanely busy, so...less energy for writing.


	3. Ink, Rumors, and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama is geeky, Madara thinks it's hot, Izuna spreads rumors, Kagami appears, and Tobirama loses his temper

Madara stares at the mess of his bed disassembled and ink littered papers covering his bedroom, while in the middle of it all, Tobirama painstakingly brushes a pattern of chakra ink on the bottom of the futon mattress. He recognizes seal work when he sees it, but fuck all if he can identify what this one is for. Or how Tobirama came up with it in the hour and a half it had taken to deal with the uppity messenger of a noble client. Waiting until Tobirama sits back, regards the result, then sighs happily, he carefully clears his throat.

His caution is rewarded by Tobirama doing a full body startle that results in Madara having to lean to one side to avoid an ink-wet brush aimed right between his eyes, a glare from red eyes, and then muttered curses as Tobirama turns back to his work, inspecting it carefully for any extra ink possibly flung onto it.

“You know, if that’s intended to kill me, I’m fairly sure there are more direct ways than trapping my bed.” Madara comments, stooping to pick up the now-broken brush and grimace at the ink splotch on the door frame.

Tobirama makes a rude gesture without turning around, and says in a venomous tone, “If it’s deadly, it’s because you startled me into messing it up.”

“Oh? And what is it _supposed_ to do?” He asks, curious despite himself now.

“Maintain temperature when _someone_ gets up, so the other person doesn’t get chilled.”

Madara blinks a few times. “Let me see if I understand this. You just invented a seal intelligent enough to recognize and only activate during periods that there’s only one person in the futon _after_ the second has gotten up?”

“Repeating what I just say with twice as many words doesn’t make you sound smarter.” Tobirama replies acidly, then heaves a put-upon sigh. “Good. By some miracle, seal integrity wasn’t compromised.”

He scowls. Perhaps he deserves a bit of Tobirama’s temper, but the man could at least recognize that he’d made an effort to _not_ distract him while doing seal work. “So the futon won’t blow up when we go to bed?”

“Correct. It won’t even turn us into shinobi-shaped icicles.” Tobirama replies with a sobering amount of seriousness. Then goes stiff for a moment, before twisting to scrabble for unmarked paper and grope for a brush, resorting to dipping a finger in the inkwell when no brush was found, a slightly blank and manic look in his eyes as he starts making notes.

Madara edges closer, and peers warily over his shoulder, brows raising as he recognizes a modified explosion tag with a complicated timed trigger. Parts of it which…he glances between the other notes, the futon, and the new notes…greatly resemble the self-warming seal. “Are you turning a self-warming futon into an assassination method?”

Tobirama flicks him a glance that contains a glint of surprise, and doesn’t bother with a reply, but somehow Madara gets a distinct sense of _‘Duh. What else would it be?’_ from him.

_That’s…slightly terrifying._

And dazzling.

_And mine._

_All mine._

~

Izuna comes looking for Madara because he needs to know how the negotiations with the noble’s servant came out, and who he should assign to the mission if they agreed to it. What he finds is his brother’s room looking like it’s been mugged by an archivist, with Tobirama sprawled asleep in the middle of it, one hand outflung, the other half-covered in ink and loosely clenched in his own hair, staining the pale silvery stuff with random streaks of dull black, several ink-marked papers sticking out randomly under his cheek. Standing over him is Madara, with the most disgustingly smug grin that Izuna has _ever_ had the misfortune of seeing his face wearing.

And that _includes_ the time the Hyuuga heir had offended the Daimyo’s three nieces and Madara had spent a full week with the three beautiful women acting like they were hanging on his every word as a result, in an impeccable retaliation.

_(Although Izuna is **still** positive that the only reason they didn’t end up doing worse to Madara was because he had been under strict orders from their father to not make any personal remarks to or about any woman in court, and if at all possible, restrict conversation to talking about the weather, the landscape, tea, and fashions.)_

“Quit leering. It’s gross.”

And _wow,_ Madara had _not_ been paying attention, because Izuna has to dive for the floor with a yelp to avoid the two projectiles flung at his left eye and heart, respectively.

He eyes the thing quivering in the doorframe and the other stuck in the wall of the hall. “Did you just almost kill me with a broken inkbrush because you were too busy leering at Tobirama to hear me coming?”

“Hmph.” Madara doesn’t even have the courtesy to look sorry.

Getting up, he dusts himself off and eyes the room again. “What’s this mess? And is there ink on the futon?”

“It’s fascinating. See? He made the futon self-warming for when I get out of bed before him. _And then_ he turned it into an assassination technique that could let a child take _me_ out!”

Izuna squints at the various patches of ink on the futon and scattered papers and realizes that yes, they’re seals, and no, he has _no clue_ what they do from looking at them. “Erm. Is the assassination technique the one currently smeared across his face? And if being cold bothered him enough to make the futon… _self-warming,_ shouldn’t you put him in bed before he gets chilled like that?”

The smug grin fades as concern replaces it. “Yes. Help me put the bed back together?”

Given that Madara promptly stoops and picks up a sleeping Tobirama _(which is hilarious, because his lanky rival is taller than his brother and completely limp with sleep)_ , he gathers ‘help me’ means ‘do it for me’. With a sigh, he acquiesces, locating the various covers scattered across the room and shaking out stray papers before flipping the futon the proper side up and putting them back on it, then holding up the top covers so Madara can place Tobirama under them. Instead, Madara promptly slips under them himself, Tobirama still in his arms.

“About that contract with the noble, did-?”

“Yes. Send Suzuo. Details are on my desk. Oh, and find a new ink brush for me, will you? Tobirama broke mine when I startled him.”

 _“Ahh, love!_ I suppose it’s good for a married couple to have certain reactions in common?” Izuna mocks, then darts out of the room as Madara’s eyes swirl to red ominously. Then comes back to shut the door to spare any passing clan members the shock of seeing what’s in that room. Always tidy Madara unconcernedly _cuddling_ a sleeping Senju in the middle of what could be mistaken for the contents of a filing cabinet having exploded over the room.

He’s definitely telling Iyasu this, because she’s his best friend, and her mother is the biggest gossip in the clan and Madara _deserves_ the humiliation to go with traumatizing his innocent little brother.

Besides…

He’s pretty sure that Hashirama _was_ talking about marriage and is going to insist on it, if not after his representative reports what he saw, then after he sees the two of them together. And given that Tobirama is the first person to not run away, throw a fit, or try to murder Madara after the fifth obtuse personal comment, well… His aniki really is unfairly lucky that Tobirama _can’t_ leave.

Although there _is_ something bothering him about Tobirama’s casual attitude towards Madara. Not falseness. Almost like… _Nah._ That can’t be it.

He just hopes he takes Madara’s stupid leer as calmly, and as the compliment it is, when he finally catches him at it. If not…

Eh.

It’s not as if Izuna _hasn’t_ known since about age 9 that if their bloodline is going to continue, he’s going to have to have children. Not to mention that it’s truly a tribute to his aniki’s skill as a ninja that anyone has yet to win the clan pool on when someone will successfully murder, castrate, or maim him for an inept personal remark at a bad moment.

At least Tobirama won’t _kill_ Madara. Hopefully. Probably. No, scratch that. _Definitely._ Madara’s strong enough to stop him if he tries. And Tobirama has a honed sense of self-preservation; the sensor is _not_ going to kill his match, because that would be suicide.

~

“How come your hair turned white? You don’t look old.”

Tobirama blinks and looks down in time to not step on the curly haired Uchiha child standing in front of him, gazing up at him with curious eyes. “I don’t know. I was born with it that way.”

The child nods, apparently accepting this. “So how come part of it is black?”

He resists the urge to sigh. “Because I fell asleep with ink all over my hand and apparently stuck it in my hair before the ink was dry.”

“Huh.” The curly haired child stares at Tobirama’s hands, eyes widening as he sees the extent of the inkstains on his right one. “How come you didn’t use an inkbrush? Or did you spill the bottle?”

Tobirama smirks slightly. At least the ink on his notes had been dry when he fell asleep on them. “Madara startled me and I threw the brush at him. But it broke and I had an idea I needed written down, so I used my hand instead.”

“Oh. Mama won’t let me throw brushes. She says it makes things messy.” The child says dolefully.

“Mmn. Well, it does do that. I think they’ll have to paint over the stain to hide it. Should you be talking to me?”

The child beams at him. “Yup! I’m Kagami! I’m going to know everything when I grow up!”

_A child after his own heart._

“Sounds like we have similar aspirations. I’m Tobirama Senju.”

“Unh-uh. You’re an Uchiha. Madara-sama said so!”

_Ah, such faith._

“I don’t recall agreeing to that.”

“Oh, no!” Kagami slaps a hand over his mouth, big eyes widening in horror. “He hasn’t asked you yet? I gotta tell him right away! He’s got to ask you before the wedding!”

“What…” Tobirama starts to ask, then finishes lamely as Kagami runs off without listening to him. “…wedding?” _Is someone getting married? And why does Madara need to ask him… Wait. What is it that Kagami thinks Madara needs to ask him anyways? And why before the wedding?_ After puzzling at it for several moments, he shakes his head and resigns it to being a mystery that only six year old boys understand.

~

Izuna sees Tobirama standing over several Uchiha children who are huddled in fear, blood-spattered and his face a mask of rage, surrounded by several bodies in Uchiha cloaks, and immediately holds out an arm to stop Yugo and Iyasu from attacking him. His own first reaction is rage that the Senju would _dare,_ but two things are off about the situation. The children, while he’s _never_ seen his rival go after a child even in battle so he’s not surprised that they are alive, the children aren’t cowering _away_ from him, they’re cowering _around_ him. And while he’s seen Tobirama intent and mildly angry, he’s _never_ seen outright rage on his face before.

“What happened here?” he asks flatly.

Tobirama turns slightly, eyes blank with fury for a second before recognition touches them and relief fills his expression for a moment before he collapses like a puppet with his strings cut.

Yugo steps back in surprise, eyes scanning for a hidden enemy.

Iyasu steps around his hand towards the children.

“Fuck.” Izuna mutters and drops his arm.  He kicks the nearest body over on its back and curses again when he sees the very-much-not-Uchiha face. _Infiltrators._ They’d probably been wearing henges, hoping to trick the children into coming with them.

Yugo’s 3 year old daughter apparently thinks Tobirama is dead and hasn’t seen her father yet, because she throws herself bodily on Tobirama, wailing loudly. Kagami, that brat, is hovering protectively. And Iyasu’s little sister is hugging Iyasu back, but like Yugo, her eyes are scanning for more enemies, tension in every line of her small body.

“Move it brats. Let me take him to Madara.”

Kagami steps aside, looking reassured, but peeling Yago’s daughter off is a lost cause, so he ends up picking Tobirama up with the little Uchiha limpet attached, still sobbing her head off. With any luck, Tobirama has only passed out from chakra exhaustion, because Izuna has _no idea_ how he managed to hold off 8 attackers, much less kill them all with no weapons in his current condition. And if Tobirama dies _now,_ not only are the chances of the extremely tentative treaty-in-progress holding almost nil, but he’s fairly sure that both Hashirama and Madara will be out for blood in a way none of them have ever seen before.

_Izuna really, really doesn’t want to see that happen._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Madara's pickier about his personal space than he is about his person.  
> Izuna assumes Tobirama has ink all over his face, but the papers were already dry before he passed out on them.  
> Unsure if I'm shipping Izuna/Iyasu or just having them be best friends. I suspect that Madara and Izuna may have been related a little too closely to the women their age in the clan to easily find wives within the clan.
> 
> About the cliffhanger.... Nah, not sorry. Zetsu saw an opportunity and tried to get the most out of it. The dead ninjas are clanless hired to abduct the children and Tobirama.
> 
> [peppymint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppymint/pseuds/peppymint) was kind enough to write out the fight [Here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293568) if you'd like to read it. :)
> 
> As always, comments, suggestions and ideas are welcome. They keep me writing when the muse gives me the finger and tries to hibernate instead, as well as brightening my day.  
> Oh, and since occasionally I've had people express concern about overly influencing my writing by giving me ideas, trust me, it's not an issue. If an idea is not something I want to write, I won't, simply because trying dead-ends my writing and I avoid doing so like the plague.
> 
> Mmn, several people asked why Tobirama didn’t make the connection about it being his wedding Kagami was talking about.  
> Partly, he’s just confused because Kagami said that Madara said he was an Uchiha and then started talking about weddings, so if Kagami already thought he was an Uchiha, why would he think Tobirama was going to marry into the clan? A case of the train of logic hitting a split and going down two different tracks. So, best he can figure, Kagami thinks Madara needs to invite him to someone’s wedding before the wedding, but he doesn’t understand why, since Madara can just make him go and he has no reason to refuse to attend an Uchiha wedding anyways now that their clans are making peace.  
> But partly, it’s not uncommon for sensors and their matches to have platonic relationships. Whether because one is married, or they’re just not attracted, or they have other reasons. And it simply hasn’t been that long since Madara and Izuna brought him back. Less than a week when Kagami asks. He's been sleeping a fairly large portion of that time.  
> Remember Madara dismissing the possibility that Hashirama would think they’re together romantically? Tobirama does. And he was asleep through Izuna’s latest teasing. Even Madara hasn’t quite made the mental leap between _‘mine’_ and sexual attraction. It simply hasn’t crossed Tobirama’s mind. Not to mention that he’s accidentally ‘brother-zoned’ Madara for the meantime.  
> Madara had an equally confusing conversation with Kagami after that, which I didn’t have space to fit into this chapter. _(Or rather, figured you’d probably rather have a chapter without waiting several more days for me to feel less wretched enough to actually work out a very short scene that I can add as a flashback or omake to another chapter.)_ What can I say? Dense boys…er, men. Although Madara’s a fair bit closer to revelation than Tobirama, he’s currently blaming Kagami’s confusion on Izuna purposely misleading the kid to be annoying instead of realizing that Kagami came up with this on his own because of what Madara told him.


	4. Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama is reminded. Madara finds out. Hashirama finds out. Tobirama wakes to an unwanted sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ~~Not edited. Will check it later when my eyes aren't trying to cross from sleepy.~~  
>  Thanks to Sectordweller for catching the Yago|Yugo mixup. It's been fixed.

Hashirama blithely adds another name to the list, humming off-key. Then yelps when Touka pokes his neck with a cold finger.

“What are you doing, brat?”

He bats her hand away and beams at her. “Making a list of who to invite once Tobirama and Madara announce their wedding!”

“Their what now? I was under the impression that Tobirama was being held hostage, not making wedding plans.” Touka sounds skeptical.

Hashirama blinks innocently at her. “Well, they’re probably taking it slow, you know? Madara’s paranoid and Tobirama’s really cautious. But from Izuna’s postscript and Shima’s report of their behavior, they’re definitely going to announce it eventually. Hopefully sooner than later. Though probably not until after the treaty is signed properly. They wouldn’t want to deal with wedding negotiations mixed in with treaty negotiations. Tobirama says that kind of thing is nightmare enough when both parties are on good terms. And he should know, given he did most of the initial negotiations for the alliance marriage with the Uzumaki for my fiancée.”

“Speaking of which, when is your fiancée due to show up here?”

He pauses, blinking. “Uh. What day is it?”

“The 16th.”

After making a quick calculation in his head, he pales. “Two days from now. Touka! What do I do? Tobirama was going to take care of the preparations to welcome her, and now he can’t, and I’m terrible at the domestic stuffs that make people feel welcome!”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Knowing Tobirama, he has the entire plan written out. I’ll go look through his quarters to find it and then set some people on it. And after this, you can let your wife take care of it instead. Honestly, brat. You’re lucky that we love you enough to put up with you. And while you’re thinking of it, make sure Tobirama and Madara get an invite to the wedding. You know he’ll be impossible if he misses your wedding, and I doubt Madara will let him come alone.”

He quails at the thought. “Maybe we’d better hurry the treaty along so we can have the wedding after?”

Touka grins evilly at him. “Probably a good idea. But you’re the one who gets to explain it to your fiancée. Have fun with that.”

Hashirama blinks slowly, then pales further. He’s only met the Uzumaki princess once, but he has great respect for her wrath, which has an awful lot in common with Tobirama’s general method of retaliation. “Touka, can you-?”

“Nope!” She says cheerfully and walks out with a jaunty bounce to her step.

He stares at the wall for a long moment, then says dolefully, “I’m doomed.”

~

 _“The tempest and the blaze; Susanoo, enwrapping flame-”_ Madara ignores elder Sasuto’s grimace at his low, deliberately off-key humming. If he has to suffer doing paperwork, Sasuto can suffer him being happy.

A high, thin wail makes him break off abruptly, standing and striding towards the door as the crying grows louder, sounding even more heartbroken in closer proximity. Then Izuna turns the corner, coming into sight, expression grim, carrying a limp and blood-covered Tobirama in his arms, with a small Uchiha child clinging to him, howling out her grief with liberal application of tears and snot.

 _“No.”_ He doesn’t recognize the rasp of his own voice. _Tobirama cannot be dead. Cannot- Tobirama is **his** ; he can’t be-_

“He’s alive. Kami only knows how. Killed eight infiltrators who were apparently trying to take her and two other children, all by himself. Iyasu went to find a healer.” Izuna cuts into his grim thoughts, tone clipped. “Yugo is seeing if he can find any clues from the corpses.”

“Injuries?” he inquires curtly as he takes Tobirama, child and all, into his arms.

“Unknown. Chakra exhaustion for sure. He passed out before he could tell us anything.”

“Infiltrators?” He inquires, turning on his heel and striding towards his room.

“Shinobi dressed in Uchiha colors and emblem, but most certainly _not_ of our clan.”

Madara curses loudly. Ninjas willing to take the risk of angering a powerful ninja clan for a coveted kekkai genkai is one thing; ninjas willing to offend the daimyo by breaking national law and falsely wearing a noble clan’s emblem is another. It’s a whole different level of crime, and noble clans who are bitter enemies have been known to join forces temporarily in order to have the offenders hunted down for the offense. “Stolen?”

“I don’t think so. The clothing looked less worn than most in the clan own.”

His lips tighten. _Someone put a great deal of thought and effort into this plan. Not just anyone can easily get ahold of clothing with noble emblems on them._ That someone _could_ and _had_ , and timed the attack to be when and where Tobirama was the only adult around… “Chances of the attack being aimed at Tobirama to begin with?”

“Hn. Possible, but I can’t say. All we saw was the aftermath. And it was only luck that I was one of the first to happen on him, or he’d have probably been killed out of hand given how it looked at first glance.”

Madara twists sideways to step through the door without banging Tobirama against the lintel, then lays him down on their bed and starts stripping off his filthy clothing. “Write a note to Hashirama for me. Let him know what happened. I’ll write a missive to the Daimyo later.”

“Hai!”

The little girl screams and scrabbles for a better hold as the clothes come off. “Shh, little one. He’s not dead. Calm down. I need to make sure he isn’t wounded. Can you hold his hand for me, so he can feel safe while I look? There’s a brave girl.”

As her face untwists a little, he recognizes her as Yugo’s daughter. Aire? Aisha? Something like that.

~

Iyasu blinks when she arrives with the healer, slightly taken aback by the sight of the mostly-naked Senju sprawled bonelessly over her Clan head’s lap, with little Aira, who is still sobbing softly, tucked up against Madara’s knees, clinging to the Senju’s hand for dear life and pressing as close as she can get against his side. One of Madara’s hands covers her tiny ones, and the other is stroking mindlessly through the silver hair as if in reassurance.

Her best friend’s brother is not typically given to reassuring gestures. He’s much rather given to _‘kill it with fire’_ , literally, than dealing with tears and worry. His expression is slightly grim, but deadly calm.

“Is he-?”

“A few scratches from kunai, nothing more. I don’t think they were poisoned, but I can’t tell for sure. Either they were incompetent or they weren’t aiming to kill him.”

The healer nods, and moves to check for poison and internal wounds.

“Mae and Kagami are fine, a bit shaken but unharmed.” Iyasu tells him and watches something in his face relax a little. “Kagami says that the kids thought they were Uchihas until your Senju snatched Aira out of one’s hands and killed him _‘with a red splat’_. Mae thinks that they were trying to take your Senju as well as the kids, but she’s not sure.”

Madara blanches. _Blanches!_

She feels the urge to rub her eyes in disbelief, but more of her is worried at the reaction. There’s very little that can make Madara pale in this world.

“No internal injuries. No poison, but a sedative in one of the wounds.” The healer reports quietly. “Exhaustion exacerbated by the sedative is his main problem. His chakra is low, but he’s not suffering from chakra exhaustion. A few days rest will repair the damage. I recommend that the child’s mother gives her plenty of water when she calms down, to avoid dehydration.”

~

Hashirama is greeting his fiancée with reasonable aplomb when the cry of a hunting hawk makes him look up and then promptly throw his arm up for Madara’s messenger hawk to land on.

_What now?_

He fumbles and unties the attached message, unrolling it to squint at the messier than usual chicken scratch Izuna inflicts on the world in the guise of writing.

_*Eight unknown persons wearing Uchiha garb attempted to abduct three Uchiha children. Your brother was able to stop them, but is unconscious and unable to give a report of what happened. It is possible that he was the target of the attempt instead of the children. Will update you when we learn more._

_~Izuna*_

Absently, he grows a perch for the bird and transfers it to the perch while handing the message to Shima. _“I._ Am going to see Tobirama. _Now._ Shima, Touka, I leave welcoming our guests to you.”

“I’m coming with you.” Mito states, grabbing his arm.

He nods briefly and shunshins towards the Uchiha estate, because there is _no way in this life_ that he is _not_ immediately checking on his only remaining brother’s health. Although he trusts Madara with Tobirama, _he_ is the best healer of the Senju, and he is not going to trust an unknown Uchiha healer with his precious only sibling.

Behind him and Mito, Shima parses out the message, swears, shoves it at Touka and runs for writing supplies to warn the Uchiha that Hashirama is headed their way at speed.

Touka raises an eyebrow and smooths out the now-crumpled message in the worst chicken scratch she’s seen since her grandfather insisted on writing a letter to someone after three bottles of sake. She blinks at it, blinks again, then crushes it in her hand and turns to their visitors with a strained smile.

“Hashirama-sama has gone to try and prevent a war. I hope that Mito-sama is a more effective diplomat than he is. For now, let me settle your party into the accommodations prepared for you.”

The Uzumakis trade glances.

“Are you telling us that Senju-sama just took Princess Mito into a _war zone?”_ One demands.

“Of course not.” Touka snaps a bit mendaciously, then adds, “If it does turn into a war zone, she’ll be perfectly safe with Hashirama-sama. Your princess is no civilian weakling, I presume?”

This rouses a storm of offended objections to the notion that Mito is in any way weak before they realize that they’ve just played into her hands and can only have faith in their princess and not threaten to turn it into a political incident in order to force concessions from their alliance in Mito’s absence. Touka mentally pats herself on the back, wearing her best hostess smile. She misses Tobirama’s deft handling of anything diplomacy and _cannot wait_ for Hashirama to get married to the redheaded princess, so that she can pass off the onerous duty of hostess in good conscience.

~

Tobirama opens his eyes, winces at his brother’s face _entirely too close_ , and glowers. “Anija, _back off_.”

He sighs in resignation when this results in Hashirama bursting into tears and hugging him instead.

“Let him breathe, Hashirama.” An unfamiliar feminine voice instructs, sweet-sounding but obviously expecting to be obeyed.  Hashirama pouts and lets go of him. _Who?_ Touka can get that response from him since their mother and grandmother passed away, and Tobirama can.

 _Wait. Why is Hashirama here?_ Last he remembers is fighting some not-Uchihas and Izuna holding someone back from killing him in the aftermath. _Oh._

“Anija, you’re an idiot.”

The woman laughs cheerfully and steps closer so he can see her. _Oh, Mito._ Has it been that long already? He counts days in his head and realizes that it has. _Of course Hashirama would be thoughtless enough to drag his fiancée whom he’s barely met into enemy territory and think nothing of it._

“Where’s Madara?”

“Avoiding the gratuitous weeping.” Madara replies in a dust dry tone and moves into his line of sight, a small child curled in sleep against his chest. “The children are fine, you’re fine, and Hashirama almost destroyed the peace treaty by coming without notice. It’s beyond me how he managed to con such a sensible woman into being his fiancée.”

Tobirama smirks at him. “He didn’t. And she’s _here_ , so what makes you think she’s sensible?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aira, Yugo's 3yr old daughter, refused to leave until Tobirama woke up.  
> Mae is Iyasu's little sister, and about age 7.  
> Iyasu is Izuna's best friend, but they aren't romantically interested in each other. Her mother is a notorious gossip, so Izuna talks to Iyasu in her vicinity when he wants rumors spread.  
> Headcanon that Madara and Izuna are a bit too closely related to most of the eligible females in their clan, so there's not really any pressure on them to marry an Uchiha.  
> After some thought, I am not shipping Touka and Izuna, but I think their interactions will still amuse.  
> Zetsu is not getting a pov or more spotlight, though his ploys at sowing discord may show up again. He's creepy, okay? I'm not writing him in unless I can kill him pretty much on the spot.
> 
> It has been pointed out to me that Mito is canonically a sensor. While the idea of having her match be dead was tempting, after a bit of discussion, Hashirama is her match and they have met _once_ before she came to be his bride. Also, a sensor does not die if their match does _unless_ they interpret the death as rejection, or the match outright blames them or rejects them or tells them to die with their dying breath, or they do the much more mundane version and die of grief as often happens with long-married couples.
> 
> Questions? Comments? Ideas, since my muse is currently trying to convince me that hibernation is better?


	5. Daimyo and Attendant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The daimyo is informed and replies. Mito's attendant makes a fuss. Touka and Izuna immediately take a dislike to each other. Etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes added to last chapter.  
> Thanks to several people who have contributed ideas. Ideas are always welcome~  
> As are questions and comments.
> 
> By the way, I'm super baffled at the popularity of this fic. My stats page tells me it already has 100 bookmarks and 160 subscriptions, and that's _a lot_ for a fic barely 18 days old. It's actually 6th among all my fics in number of hits, too, which puts it at over 4000 hits, folks. Trust me, I'm not complaining, just baffled. Haha.

_Fire Daimyo’s residence,  
Daimyo Tsunehito_

He reads the slightly curt missive from the head of the noble Uchiha clan, mouth pursing thoughtfully. After several moments, he looks up from the letter to the messenger, the Uchiha diplomat who lives in the capital for just these sorts of situations and is making a somewhat substandard attempt to keep worry off his face.

 _Understandable_.

The Senju and Uchiha have been fighting for many generations; the attempt at peace is a large and surprising action that he has not heard of before this. If their truce explodes back into war, he doubts not that it will be even bitterer than before, and both clans have suffered significantly over the last few decades. This proposed village of theirs… If someone fears the success of it, what better way to punish the would-be thieves than by allowing it?

Besides, the Uchiha are formidable on their own; strengthened by the notorious Senju clan, he will have a fighting force that the other Daimyos do not have access to. The strength of the samurai only goes so far when shinobi are often _more_. Too often his resources are stretched thin by neighboring countries testing the borders, craving Fire Country’s vast natural assets for themselves.

“Very well. I expect your Clan head to keep me updated if there are further developments on the matter. As for the clan alliance and proposed village, I will give them my blessing. However, I expect the leaders of this village to make an appearance before me, once they are settled, to discuss the service the village will owe Fire Country and her Daimyo in exchange for the boon.”

It’s a good thing he has scribes to write out things like this for him. If he had to constantly write out all the formal flourishes that makes his subjects feel that royalty deigns to care about their issues, either his hand would fall off or he’d go barking mad. All the verbal tussles that grace court are quite bad enough.

~

Madara reads the court-scribed reply and curses. He flings the scroll at Hashirama. “Here, read this. And why are you still here, by the way? Don’t you have a wedding to plan or something? Visitors to reassure that you haven’t gotten their princess killed?”

Hashirama hums as he catches it and unrolls it. “Mito wanted to spend more time with Tobirama. And Tobirama already did that, and left the plans for it. Touka’s doing it now. Oh, hey, this is good news! I thought the Daimyo didn’t approve of the Senju. And the Daimyo even wants to employ our services. Good, good. Now that we won’t be competing for clients, I was worried that we’d see a critical drop in missions, since only one side will be able to hire us now.”

 _“What.”_ He asks flatly.

His best friend blinks at him innocently. “I thought you knew? Tobirama’s always pointing it out as one of the reasons you probably don’t- didn’t want to make peace.”

“Hmph. Figures he’d be against peace.”

Hashirama gives him an utterly baffled look. “Why would you say that? He’s wanted peace for as long as I have. He’s been helping me plan out how to make it work for years. You should see the plans he has drawn up for a sewer system alone!”

Madara gapes at him for a moment, then snaps his mouth shut, feeling vaguely guilty for some reason. “It’s not as good a thing as you’re thinking, though. We’ll have to have very good diplomatic arguments in order to retain enough autonomy to be worth the Daimyo’s favor and to maintain neutrality in the other nobles’ schemes. Court is a pit of vipers.”

His eyes widen as Hashirama takes two abrupt strides towards him and pats Madara’s head like one might soothe a child.

“What- _What are you doing, you moron!? Stop that!”_

Hashirama beams at him, dropping his hands to his sides.  “See? With both of us, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Madara sputters.

Izuna leans in, glances around, and then asks, “Is everything okay here? We heard shouting.”

“Arrgh! _You_ explain to him why that is not a good thing!” He exclaims and stomps out huffily.

Dodging his grumpy brother, Izuna steps into the office and eyes Hashirama warily. “Why _what_ is not a good thing?”

Hashirama grins at him. “The Fire Daimyo gave our alliance and the proposed shinobi village his blessing. Madara’s just being paranoid about it. You want to read it?”

He considers for about four seconds, then takes the slightly crumpled scroll Hashirama is holding out and begins reading.

~

Touka considers murdering Hashirama for about the 33rd time for the day, but again comes to the conclusion that it would backfire on her, because then she’d _permanently_ be obligated to be the defacto clan hostess. Her current problem is a petite, curvy little bundle of stubbornness and straight blue-black hair framing a pretty face and intense dark purple eyes. Miuna Uzumaki, the youngest of those accompanying the redheaded princess, and quite obviously the most determined of the lot.

“We only have your word for it that Mito-sama is safe and well. Reassurances are useless without proof. I _will_ see my lady.” It’s surprisingly intimidating coming from someone who looks like a stiff breeze could blow her away and doesn’t come to Touka’s shoulder.

She’s been telling the girl for nigh on two hours that going to see Mito is impossible, only to get variations on the same blunt stubbornness. Frankly, she’s tired of it. “Fine. I will escort you to the Uchiha border, but beyond that point I _cannot_ guarantee your safety even with the current lack of fighting between the clans. _Do you understand?_ ”

“Perfectly.” Miuna replies with a sweet smile, oozing satisfaction.

The travel to Uchiha lands is a nice change from dealing with guests and twitchy clan members. If nothing else, Miuna is a competent kunoichi and quiet when she’s not demanding something.

At the border, she stops, waiting even though no one comes out. Well, not like she really expected them to.

“Come out, Uchiha. I know you’re there.” She huffs after a couple minutes, impatient.

To her surprise, it’s the Uchiha clan heir who emerges. “What do you want, Senju?”

“Princess Mito’s attendant is insistent on seeing her.”

“So you brought her? Are you stupid? Women on enemy territory aren’t safe, you know.”

Her eyes narrow, because _really?_

 _“I_ am not going on enemy territory. _You_ are going to escort her, and there’ll be nothing to worry about because you’re not that kind.”

He gives her a suspicious look. “That kind?”

Touka gives him her most saccharine smile. “If she was a man, I’d worry for her virtue, but as it is, well, women aren’t to your taste, are they?”

 _“They are too!”_ He yelps, looking thoroughly offended and crossing his arms huffily. “Don’t confuse me with Madara.”

“Hmmn.” She injects extreme doubt into the sound. “So you’re a rapist then?”

_“I am not, you shrew!”_

She wonders if she can make his head explode with rage if she keeps pushing, but Miuna delicately clears her throat, reminding her of their purpose here. “Then the Senju can trust you to escort Lady Uzumaki’s attendant to her side, safe and sound, without worry?”

“Of course.”

Touka gives him a smile that’s all teeth. _“Excellent.”_

The look on his face as he realizes that he’s been tricked into agreeing he’s harmless and will take responsibility for Miuna’s safety is entirely worth the effort.

“Damn it. I’ll remember this!” He grumbles.

“Do that.” She agrees sweetly. _Maybe he’ll remember picking a fight with her isn’t worth the humiliation, next time, but she’s pretty sure he’s not that intelligent._

~

Madara steps into his room, staggers hard enough that it’s a near thing that he doesn’t fall flat on his back, looks down and sputters as he realizes that his room is covered yet again in papers. In the middle of it all, Mito is sitting comfortably on his futon, a novel in hand, with Tobirama curled up in sleep next to her, his head on her lap.

She chuckles softly at his expression. “No need to look like that. We’re just good friends. I’m a sensor as well, and Hashirama is my match. Tobirama is one of the few I can discuss fuuinjutsu intelligently with outside of my clan. I do apologize for the mess, however.”

With a sigh, he stoops and picks up the paper that had almost gotten the better of him and peers at it. “Were you two refining that trap seal he created off of the bed warming seal he made?”

Mito raises an elegant brow and looks mildly pleased. “Yes, indeed. He said you were relatively proficient at fuuinjutsu, but I confess that I am pleasantly surprised that you are conversant enough with it to be able to understand that much at a glance.”

“I’m not totally inept with them.” He agrees, studying it with a faint frown. Whatever this one is supposed to do, he’s fairly sure it won’t work in practice, but not sure why. “Hn.”

Thoughtfully, he starts picking up other papers scattered around, noticing a steady progression of variants on the idea, some quite workable, others only partly so, with notes written in two different hands. Mito’s writing has slightly more flair, while Tobirama’s is strictly efficient. Both are quite tidy, a habit that’s always a boon to seal masters.

He pauses at the 19th paper, considering, then shuffles through and finds the fourth one and holds them side by side, comparing. “I think it would work if you combined these two.”

“Oh?” Mito looks up from her novel in interest.

Madara holds them out for her inspection.

“So _that’s_ what we were missing. Tobirama said something about repetition, but we couldn’t find the notes so we dropped the idea.”

“It was stuck on the bottom of another one.” He offers.

She wrinkles her nose delicately. “I despise it when that happens.”

“Happens often around Tobira?”

Mito smiles in genuine amusement. “Quite. Although, _do_ let me be close enough to watch the first time that you call him that to his face. He is not fond of diminutives.”

Madara makes a mental note to never use shortened versions of Tobirama’s name unless he wants to provoke him. He should probably do something nice for Mito for forewarning him. “Hn.”

~

He slams the door open moodily, then catches the scroll flung at his face hastily. “What the hell, Senju? That’s not how you treat scrolls!”

“Sorry.” Hashirama says, sounding distinctly not sorry. “You startled me. Usually people entering like that are trying to kill me.”

Izuna blinks at him. “Assassins manage to get on Senju clan grounds often?”

Hashirama waves him off. “Of course not. It’s just how my clan members express frustration. Who’s that? Isn’t she an Uzumaki?”

He realizes that he’s standing in the doorway, blocking the young woman from entering and steps aside with a sigh. “Yes. That oni cousin of yours insisted I escort her here because she wanted to see your fiancée.”

The girl, who is around his own age, steps past him regally and gives Hashirama a tiny bow. “Forgive me, Hashirama-sama, I was concerned about Mito-sama staying here on her own.”

“Errr… Of course.” Hashirama replies, obviously disconcerted, then beams. “That’s so nice of you to be concerned for Mito! I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you!”

The girl, whose name he still hasn’t gotten, smiles in a way that makes the hair on the back of Izuna’s neck stand up, though Hashirama seems entirely unaffected. “I’m equally sure she won’t be glad, but I thank you for the sentiment. I’m impressed you remember me, as you’ve only seen me once, correct?”

Hashirama tilts his head, then shakes it. “No, I saw you that time I visited Whirlpool Island as well. Though I’m afraid I never caught your name.”

She inclines her head in acknowledgement. “Miuna Uzumaki, a distant cousin of Mito-sama.”

“Then we’re related!” Hashirama beams at her again.

Izuna rolls his eyes and stomps off to warn his brother that they’ve been invaded by yet another aggravating person. He’s starting to think _Tobirama_ is the only sane and sweet one.

_Honestly!_

… Okay, fine, lady Mito isn’t too bad, but Hashirama’s definitely missing a few screws and then there’s the oni cousin, and he’s not even going to touch the subject of this latest one. That smile of hers is scary as hell. He can’t wait until Tobirama is fed up enough to kick all of them back to Senju lands where they belong!

_No, wait…_

Until _Madara_ kicks them back where they belong. Just because he teases Madara about marrying Tobirama doesn’t mean… _Nah, of course not._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'oni cousin' refers to Touka, of course.  
> Since the descriptions of Touka vary between the manga and the anime, for reference, I'm going with the manga version. She has an oval face, light grey eyes, and wears dark lipstick the color of almost-dry blood. I kind of feel like I've made her and Izuna enough alike that they're never ever going to get along. There's no sexual interest or tension between them, but I think others will mistake their fervent arguments as such rather repeatedly.  
> Hopefully Miuna isn't too obnoxious. She plans to stick around. Mito and Miuna don't get along, but she's quite diligent about taking care of Mito. I think they dislike each other because they're both too alike and too different. Mito's probably a fair bit less likely to casually terrify someone for the hell of it.  
> Mito tentatively approves of Madara on Tobirama's behalf. They became good friends while Tobirama was spending time with her clan negotiating her marriage with Hashirama.  
> What Tobirama said about the 'repetition' was something along the lines of 'there's that one design that would be useful to repeat in this'. He and Mito are playing with the design of an ambush-kill seal, not a repeating bomb.


	6. Partings and Meetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hashirama and Mito go back. A Nara appears. Etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **  
>  **   
>  _Happy Holidays, all!_   
> 

Iyasu stifles laughter as she listens to the conversation around her.

“I wouldn’t have burned his clothes if I’d known Madara-sama was going to marry him.” Rimu the laundress laments.

Minene contradicts her qualmlessly. “Yes, you would have. You would have just said it was because Madara-sama’s fiancé should be wearing Uchiha garb, not Senju.”

“No, I wouldn’t have. The boy deserves something of his family, after all.” Rimu insists piously.

“That’s true.” Iko, Kagami’s mother agrees. “I could never have _imagined_ that a Senju would risk himself to save an Uchiha child, much less my Kagami. What with the way both clans were killing each other’s children just a few years ago. And have you met the Senju Clan head? He’s very charming, and he was _playing_ with Kagami like it was nothing unusual! I didn’t believe Kagami when he told me that Madara-sama was planning on _marrying_ Tobirama, but now I do. Can you believe that Kagami had to scold Madara-sama for forgetting to _ask_ him to marry him and just planning the wedding?”

Iyasu’s mother, Fuyuno, tsks. “I can believe it. Sounds just like Madara-sama. Knowing him, he’s probably forgotten to plan the wedding too. Have any of you gotten invitations? I thought not. I’m sure he’s just planning to grab a priest and demand to be married. A crying shame, I tell you. Izuna-sama says it’s terribly obvious the two of them are in love, but can you imagine? That poor boy. Clan heir and forced to put up with Madara-sama’s notion of romance and marriage? He deserves better than that. He saved my Mae, too, you know.”

Isui, Iyasu’s father, sips his tea politely, as if he’s not surrounded by a bunch of gossiping women, and suggests with a glint of amusement in his eyes, “Why don’t you ladies plan the wedding for them, then? I’m sure they would be grateful to not have to concern themselves with the details while dealing with settling the treaty. Did you know that the Daimyo has given his blessing to our alliance with the Senju and agreed that we should establish a ninja village?”

_She **knew** he’d been listening while Izuna complained about that to her, but she hadn’t thought he’d been paying attention. Clever father!_

Of course, she knew that no such wedding was being planned. Izuna had been just causing trouble and Kagami wouldn’t be the first person to be confused by Madara. But honestly, it’s just too amusing to try to enlighten them with the truth, and a wedding between those two would make both clans better inclined to keep to the treaty. Besides. She can’t wait to see Izuna’s horrified expression when he finds out the result of his mischief making.

~

“I’m not going.”

Mito opens her mouth and closes it, then asks carefully, “I beg your pardon?”

“I’m not going back. The Uchiha are interesting, so I’m staying here. Besides, the elders will make me go back to Whirlpool with them if I go back with you now, and I have no intention of doing so.”

“I see.” She says blankly, not seeing at all, frankly.

Miuna gives her a genuine half-smile. “You don’t need me anyways, and I’ll make sure Tobirama-sama is taken care of properly in your and Hashirama-sama’s absence. You know who they’re going to make me marry if I go back, right?”

She has to think about it a moment, and then winces. “Really? Him?”

Miuna’s lips curl in disdain. “Yes. Him. And with me gone, they’ll marry my cousin Aasu to him. Not much better, but at least she _likes_ sex and isn’t bothered by his age or habits.”

“And he won’t object to her son.” Mito adds thoughtfully. The man in question has any number of daughters, and has gone through three wives, but has never managed to sire a son of his own. Despite the fact that even Aasu doesn’t know who the father of her child is, the man will probably spoil the boy rotten out of sheer delight of finally having a son. “Alright, I’ll inform the elders that I requested you stay behind to tend to my brother-in-law’s health because of Hashirama’s worry for him.”

Her attendant’s lips curve up in a devious smile. “I will be sure to send Hashirama-sama a report on Tobirama-sama’s health on a weekly basis until they are gone.”

Mito chuckles. Perhaps she and Miuna don’t get along very well, but that is largely because they thought so much alike in some ways. It was hard to get around someone who could anticipate you so well. “Don’t just stop after that, you’ll make Hashirama cry.”

Miuna’s smile fades. “Ah, I didn’t think of that. Then until this new village is established and they can visit freely?”

“Acceptable. And do yourself a favor, Miuna. Make yourself indispensable to someone in the Uchiha with enough political weight that the elders can’t simply decide to outwait you, before then.”

Her attendant stares at Mito for a moment, then gives a small bow of respect. “Thank you for the advice, Mito-sama. I shall. Please take care of yourself.”

Mito smiles at her. “I’ll be sure to, so you don’t feel obligated to come back.”

“I _would,_ you know?”

 _Of course she knows. Miuna is nothing if not dutiful and diligent._ She wrinkles her nose at the thought, and implores, “Spare us both.”

Miuna laughs freely, a rare thing coming from her. “Agreed.”

~

“Madara-sama! There’s a blind Nara here to see you!”

That’s…unusual, to say the least. The Nara are allied with the Akimichi, and while not on _bad_ terms with the Uchiha…well. They try not to cross each other’s paths for a reason.

“Really? Yami Nara is here?”

He turns at Tobirama’s voice, then swears as the man wobbles dangerously, and moves to sweep him off his feet into his arms in one efficient motion. “What are you doing up?”

“No one was around and I’m hungry.”

“Madara-sama? The visitor?” The teen asks plaintively.

“Show him in. We’ll be in the dining room.” He snaps.

He firmly installs Tobirama in a chair and pushes it in for him.

“Stay put. I’ll make you a sandwich.”

Tobirama raises a brow, but makes no move to try and get up, so Madara huffs and stomps into the kitchen to find some bread, and some sliced meat he knows is kept in that new-fangled refrigerator thing. When he returns, Tobirama is exchanging pleasantries with a Nara man who has a milky gaze, obviously blind from birth. A strange choice of messenger, really, but perhaps the clan considers him a disposable pawn. The Uchiha are not known for being merciful to intruders, after all. He sets the plate down in front of Tobirama sharply, then takes an empty chair.

“What brings a Nara here?”

The man holds up a small scroll with the remnants of a royal seal on it and Madara represses a groan. “A little bird told us that the Uchiha and Senju are allying and looking to establish a shinobi village. As such, the Nara would like to propose the Sarutobi clan grounds as neutral ground for the signing of your alliance, as we are aware of the long-standing enmity between your two clans and the need for neutral ground.”

“A clever thought.” Madara acknowledges neutrally, because the Nara clan is nothing if not clever.

Tobirama kicks his ankle under the table. “The Nara didn’t send their most feared warrior simply to convey a suggestion about a meeting place.”

The Nara looks faintly embarrassed for a split second, then nods. “That is true. The Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka would like to express our interest in joining your village. Your clans are not the only ones tired of constant fighting between the clans. Since it is not likely that the Uchiha would allow an Akimichi on their clan grounds without violence, I was tasked to bring the message. I suspect you may receive messengers from the other noble clans or clans affiliated with them soon enough. We have taken liberty to spread word to the small, unaffiliated clans that we have contact with, as well.”

Madara can’t exactly say he’s _angry_ at that, given that he and Hashirama _have_ planned for other clans joining the village and the Daimyo poking his nose into the matter, but… “I’m curious. Why approach the Uchiha rather than the Senju?”

“I feel a Senju’s shadow sitting right here.” The man replies obliquely.

He taps his fingers impatiently on the table, not satisfied with the answer, but unable to know if the Daimyo had passed on that tidbit without rudely demanding to read the scroll the Nara carries.

“Most likely because the Akimichi _adore_ Anija and know very well that he’d say yes without even thinking to consult you.” Tobirama offers after a moment. “Yami-san is offering the courtesy of extending the knowledge that the three allied clans respect your opinion has just as much weight in this as Anija’s does. You may be the grumpy brother, but you are a noble.”

For some reason, this makes Yami chuckle and shake his head in amusement.

Madara shoots Tobirama a narrow look. “You haven’t seen Izuna before he has his second pot of tea if you really think that.”

“I meant An- Er… That is. Unfortunate then that even two pots of tea don’t improve your temper.”

The Nara carefully doesn’t laugh now, but his grin is impossible to miss.

 _Oh, for-!_ “You _do_ realize that Hashirama and I are _not_ siblings?”

Tobirama looks away, stuffing a bite of sandwich in his mouth and nodding a little too exaggeratedly to be believable.

He debates calling him on it, but decides doing so is best done when not in front of their uninvited guest. Instead, he sighs. “Given Hashirama would say yes to peace if his worst enemy proposed it, I can’t argue that. And the Akimichi, Nara, and Yamanaka would be welcome additions to Konohagakure. Other clans are welcome as well, as long as they sincerely wish to join. Peace cannot be forced, after all, and there are likely clans who do not wish to put aside their grudges.”

“You are a curious man, Madara-sama. I will carry your message to our three clans.” Yami says with a nod, and rises. “I’ll not impose on your hospitality longer.”

Madara rises as well. “I’ll have someone escort you to the border.” Then he pauses to give Tobirama a sharp glare and rudely point a finger at him. “And _you, stay put.”_

“Of course, Madara.”

Tobirama’s meek tone is a complete lie, he knows, but he’ll take what he can get. His sensor is about as meek as that pretty little terror that Mito brought into his house and then had the gall to leave behind. Though it _is_ funny to see Izuna leave the room when she opens her mouth to say something.

~

_A few days later…_

Tobirama blinks as an Uchiha man stuffs a child into his arms.

_What?_

“Please, please take care of her. She’s always asking for you and my wife is throwing up. Make sure she has clean diapers before she goes to sleep. Thanks!”

“To’i’ma!” The child in his arms squeals happily, reaching up to pat his face.

 _Oh. Aira-chan._ It’s still baffling to be handed an Uchiha child with such trust, but…he can sort of understand it in this case. Since she’s one of the children he’d kept from being kidnapped a bit over a week ago.

At least Madara has stopped clucking over him every time he tries to walk on his own and picking him up at the least little sway in his balance. However, as small as Aira is…he should probably sit down, because he’s still low on energy.

Fortunately, the courtyard does boast a nice bench, made of sturdy stone, probably due to the Uchiha tendency towards pyromania. Hashirama insists that it’s just a clan custom, due to their preponderance of fire element natures, but he’s not convinced. The Uchiha have a love affair with fire that borders on creepy. At least they generally contain it to training sessions and actual combat.

“Do you want children, Tobirama-sama?” Miuna asks from behind him. “I didn’t realize you liked children.”

“I suppose they’re alright as long as I can give them back to their parents afterwards.” He allows. “What are you plotting?”

“Hm. I don’t think I’ll tell you yet.”

“I’m surprised the clan made the mistake of letting you come with Mito. Weren’t you supposed to marry that old pervert?”

She makes a cheerful humming sound, stepping around the bench to peer at Aira. “This is why I like you, Tobirama-sama. You pay attention. What a darling child. She really likes you, doesn’t she?”

He gives a half-shrug. “She’s the youngest of the three I stopped from being taken. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do for diapers, though. Her father didn’t bring any with her.”

“Ah. I’ll go take care of finding some.”

“Thanks, Miuna.” He says to her retreating back, then tilts his head to look up at the sky until the press of tiny fingers pushing against his mouth makes him sputter and start paying attention to the child in his lap again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More notey things to be added later. When not brain dead.
> 
> Yami means 'darkness'. It's a reference to his blindness, which he was born with. Since his clan's specialty is sensing and manipulating shadows, however, it hasn't affected his ability to function well. He 'sees' through the shadows. Think of it as 'shadow echolocation', just using shadows to map shapes instead of sound.  
> Touka will not end up with Izuna. I know what clan the person she's going to end up with is from, but haven't decided the individual yet.  
> Miuna will not end up with either Touka or Izuna, but she will end up in a slightly peculiar relationship with two people. She loves and wants children, but is asexual.  
> Izuna will not end up with either Touka or Miuna. He fights with Touka far too much, and is too intimidated in a not-sexy way by Miuna. I have someone in mind yet, but she hasn't shown up yet.


	7. Hn and other things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts revealed...or something. Anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year!  
> Okay, I realize I'm posting it after midnight, but I actually finished it before the day was over.  
> Incidentally, for those music soundtrack inclined, I realized I've mostly been listening to Two Steps from Hell while writing this fic. Which is...strange. Cuz I don't usually have specific music for writing. But nice war music. And I say this as someone who loves music like Beethoven, Zimmer, etc. Even the vocals are pretty nice range, though I switch off to quieter music when headachey cuz it does get a bit high in places.  
> Anyways, done with the random rambles, now on to the story rambles. haha.

Tobirama eyes Madara’s irritated expression curiously. He’s pretty sure this is the first time since the first couple days that Madara has been irritated at him directly for something he’s said since the Uchiha decided to appropriate him from the Shinigami’s grasp to force a peace treaty.

“I am _not_ your brother!” Madara huffs.

“I am aware of the fact, yes.”

“Hashirama is not my brother either.”

“Maa, maa, don’t tell him that. I’m pretty sure he’ll cry if you do. Besides, I’m fairly sure you’re the grumpy twin.” Tobirama’s mouth quirks up, because _honestly_. He really doesn’t understand what exactly Madara is upset about.

Madara lets out a teakettle hiss of frustration, then says in a tone usually used for slow children, “If Hashirama was my twin, you’d be my brother. _And you’re **not**!”_

“Of course not, though I fail to see why this matters.”

He blinks when Madara strips them both of their yukatas and tumbles them onto the futon. He might complain of the slight chill if Madara weren’t radiating heat and pressed full-length against him, face mere inches from his own. “If I were your brother, _this_ would definitely be a problem.”

It takes him a few moments to work that one out. _Oh, he’s aroused._ Unexpected might be an understatement, when a few weeks ago he would’ve expected Madara to be happy at his demise. _So he is angry because I implied his desire for me could be interpreted **that** way?_ “I did not mean to say that you are _literally_ Hashirama’s twin, merely temperamentally.”

Madara huffs out a long tea-scented sigh. “You...!” Apparently relenting, he leans his forehead against Tobirama’s. After a long moment, he tenses again. “Do you lack interest in men, or is it just me?”

“No.” He says carefully. “I simply had not considered it a possibility. Being a sensor, I considered it unwise to build a relationship with someone besides my match, and you expressed disinterest at the time you chose to spare me my fate. Understandable, given that you hate me. I am…uncertain. That you are now interested is…surprising.”

Madara jerks his head back to stare at him. “I don’t hate you. Nor do I recall saying I wasn’t interested.”

_Had he been mistaken? Or had it just been some defensive statement prompted by Madara’s decision to save him and not intended as a reflection of truth?_

“Oh.”

“I swear, you are the most idiotic genius I know. Did you really think you’re not locked up and treated the way I treat you because I _hate_ you?”

 _Put like that…_ “I suppose not.”

The whine of beleaguered frustration that provokes is a bit endearing. “And people say _I’m_ dense about relationships!”

“Well…at least you’ve had one before?” Tobirama offers, unable to come up with anything more comforting.

“Are you trying to comfort me?” Madara asks incredulously.

“Maybe.” He admits.

“Oh kami! My life has hit a new low. I’m being comforted by the man who doesn’t want to have sex with me.” Madara complains, wriggling a bit and burying his face against Tobirama’s shoulder.

“I didn’t say that.” He objects. “It sounds like a pleasant experiment.”

Tobirama doesn’t quite catch what Madara mumbles in response to that, but he’s quite certain he hears _‘Senju’_ and _‘idiot genius’_ somewhere in the middle of it.

~

Somehow Madara finds himself entirely unsurprised when, after the treaty is signed, some Naras and Yamanakas stroll out of seemingly nowhere, shortly followed by Akimichis bearing food-laden platters. He is equally unsurprised when the Uzumaki terror manages to procure a neatly piled plate of food for him and Tobirama as well as herself, with no sign of effort.

For a pretty little thing, she certainly has a knack for getting her way in an efficient manner. Since she’s appointed herself as Tobirama’s caretaker, the house has been clean enough he hasn’t spotted so much as a fleck of missed dust, and the meals have been carefully tailored to their likes and needs in a way that the place hasn’t seen since his mother’s death nearly a decade ago. He’s fairly certain she’s appropriated his house, but given the benefits, he doesn’t particularly mind.

What does surprise him is to see several silver-haired people standing together when he looks around to see where Tobirama has gotten himself to. In this crowd, he’s wary of the absent-minded genius getting himself thoroughly lost to his own detriment. After a couple blinks, he determines the people talking with Tobirama are Hatakes, a small, well-known clan of fierce ninjas somewhat loosely affiliated with the Hyuuga. _What are they doing here?_ A suspicion strikes him, and he looks at the crowd more carefully.

Then nearly jumps out of his skin as he realizes that an Aburame has ambled up to him and has apparently been waiting for him to notice for some time now. “Did the Akimichi invite _everyone?”_

“I do not believe that supposition is correct. Why? Because they only invited ninja clans within the Land of Fire. Civilians unaffiliated with the clans were not invited. Moreover, the invitations were only for the able-bodied, as they made it clear they did not wish to pressure anyone to bring those unable to defend themselves or retreat quickly into a possibly volatile situation.”

Madara resists the urge to drop his head into his hands. _He hadn’t meant that literally!_ Still, he can be polite. “I see. I suppose the Daimyo sent your clan a message as well?”

“Indeed. I will admit, we came because we were curious as to if you really plan to open your village to any clan who wishes to join.”

“Provided that they are sincere in their wish to live in peace with and work with the other clans, yes. We-” _(and by ‘we’ he mostly means Hashirama)_ “believe that putting members of different clans into teams appropriate to their skillsets will increase the strength of all, and we do not need to resort to sending young children into battle before they are old enough to survive. _‘Many hands make light work’_ , after all. The Aburame are, of course, welcome in Konoha, should your clan wish to join.”

“Hm. And do the Senju share your opinion?”

Madara shrugs lightly. “Speak to Hashirama if you doubt me. Though he is likely to start immediately demanding to know where best to place your clan. Actually, _do_ speak with Hashirama. He’s much better at elaborating.” Glancing at Tobirama again, he scowls to find the group has moved off a ways. “Pardon my rudeness, but the Hatake have apparently decided to adopt my sensor and take him home with them, and I need to do something about that before they succeed. The last thing I need is Hashirama sobbing all over me because I’ve misplaced his brother.”

He starts to stride off, not waiting for acknowledgement, then has a thought and pauses to look back at the Aburame. “Someone tried to steal Tobirama and some of the Uchiha kids. They almost succeeded. Worst case, they knew of our intent to make peace and found a village, and objected and were attempting to set the clans back at odds. We’ve found no leads on who was behind them as of yet. Take care.”

The Aburame nods. “I thank you for the warning.”

Despite the lack of change in body language or tone, Madara is sure he isn’t imagining the sudden cold alertness hidden behind those tinted glasses. But then, any good clan leader would react like that. Besides, it’s not his concern. Not right now. What _is_ his concern is retrieving Tobirama before the Hatake succeed in making off with him. Truly, he’d never fully appreciated the troubles Hashirama had gone through with the _brilliant, absent-minded idiot_ before Madara took over Tobirama’s care.

~

As it turns out, Madara need not have worried. Miuna is practically glued to Tobirama’s side, and the Hatakes around her seem both fascinated and wary of her. He wonders what exactly she did or said to provoke that reaction, given she has her normal sweet, placid expression on at the moment. Their destination is…well, not reassuring, but not as bad as it could be. An elderly Hyuuga, old enough that she actually requires the support of the tree she is leaning against.

 _Obviously an elder respected for her opinion in such matters, but so feeble as to be considered disposable in the scheme of things if the situation should go sideways._ He supposes he really cannot blame the haughty clan for their caution. As both clans are noble and dojutsu users, the Uchiha and Hyuuga have long been slightly spiteful rivals.

He glowers at a Hatake who is standing a bit too close to his Tobirama, but otherwise hangs back and allows Tobirama to answer the old woman’s questions in his blunt, precise manner.

“And you, young Uchiha? Does your clan also share these intentions?”

Madara jerks his attention from the now-slightly-uneasy Hatake to the Hyuuga elder. _What were they talking about last?_ “If you’re asking if the Hyuuga and Hatake have a place as equals among the clans of Konoha, then yes, your clans are welcome as long as they are sincere in their desire to cooperate and set aside feuds with clans that belong to the village.”

She gives a rusty chuckle. “We were speaking of civilians, trade, and sewer systems, but that is good to know.”

He flushes slightly. “Hn.”

~

With multiple shinobi clans working together, it doesn’t take long to clear enough space in the valley to begin laying out clan compounds and the basic village structure. It doesn’t look like a place to live, more like a disaster area being cleaned up, with people scurrying here and there, too busy to worry about the funny notions of some uninvolved passerby if they should happen to look. Looking from above, the sight resembles a kicked human anthill.

Not everyone here is here to join Konoha, but even those clans who declined the invitation have shown up to help out, preferring to stay on their own lands and merely aid Konoha as affiliated clans. It still surprises him how many of the clans have been so willing to set aside grievances for the chance at peace and alliance. Mere years ago, he would have said his and Hashirama’s dream was out of reach, that most clans felt as their fathers did, more willing to fight and die than to lay down vengeance.

Then again, he had never…

He pauses with a frown, aware that the silver head he’s been idly tracking is now missing. _Where…?_

“What are you doing up here, Madara?”

He yelps, flails, and just barely manages not to fall off the cliff, by dint of both Tobirama and Miuna grabbing his robes and hauling back with all their weight. Somehow they succeed in not falling in an ignominious heap, but it’s a close thing. _“Did you seriously almost kill me just to ask what I’m doing!?”_

Tobirama narrows his eyes at him. “And what _were_ you doing that you didn’t notice two people making no effort to be quiet walking up to you? If you’re hiding from that Hyuuga elder again, she’s the one who pointed you out to us.”

“No, I was-! Hmph.” He crosses his arms and refuses to admit what he was actually up to.

Miuna sits down suddenly, and laughs richly. “I’ll bet he noticed he couldn’t see you anymore and was looking for you!”

Madara feels his ears turning red and gives a miffed sniff. “Why did you two come up here?”

Tobirama stares at him for a long moment, before his lips quirk in a smile. “Miuna wanted to talk to us for some reason.”

“Oh?” He turns and eyes the gleefully cackling Uzumaki warily. “What about?”

It takes her a couple minutes to stop laughing long enough to get ahold of herself. She takes a few deep breaths and stands, dusting off her robe. “I have some questions, and I’d appreciate if you would answer them without getting angry or jumping to conclusions.”

Tobirama’s body language only changes slightly, but curiously, Madara is sure that he has at least some idea of what Miuna is going to speak about and a bit wary of the topic.

_Hmm._

“Very well, I can agree to that much.”

Beside him, Tobirama gives a curt nod of agreement.

“Madara-sama, do you like children?”

He blinks. _Odd topic._ “Yes.”

“Would you like some of your own?”

 _Well, now he sees why she’d asked them to not get angry before broaching the topic._ “I wouldn’t object to it, but…” He glances at Tobirama and shrugs. “Izuna is my heir. I don’t need children.”

“And Tobirama-sama…?”

Tobirama rolls his shoulders in a gesture that bespeaks his discomfort. “My previous reply stands. They’re okay if I can give them back, and I don’t particularly want any of my own.”

Miuna nods briefly. “However, your brother will pester you to provide a niece or nephew, will he not?”

Realization crosses Tobirama’s face. “I suppose…”

Then she looks at Madara. “And your brother actually co-leads your clan with you, correct? Do you really think your clan will accept him as your heir? I do not think they believe that he is capable of commanding them without you making the big decisions.”

Madara opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again and ends up coughing when Tobirama elbows him abruptly. _Okay. Right. He promised to not get angry without hearing her out._

“What?” He wheezes, still shocked at her conclusion. The grim look on Tobirama’s face makes him still, though. “You think she’s right?”

“Okay, both of you: **_Breathe_**. My intention in pointing this out was not to bring you worry.” Miuna interjects. “As a matter of fact, the clan elders who accompanied Mito-sama out here are still under the impression that I will be going back with them to go into a marriage with a notorious lech. I believe that we may be able to solve each other’s problems. If I have importance to someone in the Uchiha clan whom they cannot afford to try to offend, they cannot make me return. You, Madara-sama, need an heir of your body, but do not wish to enter into a relationship with a woman for that purpose, because of your relationship with Tobirama. You, Tobirama-sama, need a child to appease your brother, but do not wish to spend that much time and care on a child due to your own interests and preceding commitments. And I have zero interest in sex or having a husband or lover, but very much want children of my own.”

There is a pause as she lets them digest her words.

“I see. So you wish to contract with us to bear us each a child, and to stay and raise them so you do not have to go back, and we have fewer pressures on us?”

“Correct.” She nods, looking relieved. “I believe that your clan would be willing to accept me in such a position and that my bloodline is sufficiently strong to be a mother to your heir, though I doubt that is a consideration in Tobirama-sama’s case. And given your situation and position, it would be difficult for the elders to force the issue, given that my engagement is not truly an official contract as of yet, and my family will easily be able to replace me with a cousin who will be much more amenable to the marriage in question.”

 _It’s not traditional, but… Well, Konoha itself is the very definition of breaking old, worn traditions that do more harm than good. And if Miuna stays, he won’t have to worry about Tobirama forgetting to take care of himself when he’s not looking._ He glances at Tobirama again, to find that he is staring at him, obviously willing to leave the decision up to him. _Oh. Right. Legally…_ Well, Tobirama can’t very well say ‘yes’ if he says ‘no’, and the reverse would be almost as difficult. Sensors really do not deal well with their match’s irritation directed at them.

“I do not necessarily agree with your assessment of the situation. But I will agree to the contract. However, I believe we should have one drawn up with the aid of witnesses so it doesn’t come down to a matter of verbal contracts in conflict. With a written contract, legally witnessed, you will be able to visit your clan from time to time without worry of being detained indefinitely.”

Miuna blinks at him a few times, then bursts into tears.

He looks at Tobirama helplessly. “Okay, what did I say wrong now?”

“Uh… I think those are happy tears? Maybe?” Tobirama offers, reaching out gingerly to pat Miuna’s hair.

“‘Happy t-?’ Wait, so she’s crying because I said something right?” He asks in bewilderment and not a little disconcertment at the sight of the always-serene Miuna practically bawling for no apparent reason. Crying people are…just not his thing. He has no idea what to do to make it better.

“Probably? I mean, Hashirama does it sometimes, so?”

Miuna wipes her faces, smearing tears all over her face and hands, and gives him an exasperated glare, hands on hips. “Yes, _‘happy tears’!_ Thank you. Thank you so much. I thought you’d say ‘no’, or that I wouldn’t be able to go back without having to stay there permanently. I’m really happy that I’ll be able to see my family again without being stuck in Whirlpool with an unwanted husband.”

“Errr… I’m glad, then?”

She huffs. “You two stay put and talk. I’ll go find some reliable people to deal with the contract.”

He blinks after her rapidly retreating form and then looks at Tobirama. “No, really. What’s up with ‘happy tears’? I don’t get it.”

Tobirama looks equally baffled. “Maybe some sort of physiological function related to personality? I _could_ research it, but I really don’t want to deal with more crying than necessary.”

_Oh. That._

Madara winces at the thought. “And you’re okay with the contract?”

A curious look and a shrug are his answer.

“Is that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?” He demands, a bit irritated now.

“Saa, it’s fine. I don’t really mind either way, and she’s probably right about your clan and Izuna. I’m quite capable of voicing objections if I had them, you realize?”

He scowls. “Hn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Madara~  
> In the end, she drags the Nara Clan head, that Hyuuga elder lady who intimidates Madara, and Mito to help them write and witness the contract. Since the Uzumaki elders are still preoccupied with Mito's upcoming wedding, which got pushed back until after the peace treaty _(which got pushed up time-wise because of the Daimyo meddling),_ they're not really paying attention to Miuna's situation yet, so the whole thing goes unnoticed by them for the meantime.


	8. Weddings and things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the elders finds out about Miuna's arrangements, Mito and Hashirama get married, etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not edited. Will check later.  
> Don't ask what I was thinking while writing these, I really don't know. I was writing in between sleeping.
> 
> Also...ideas, folks? I've only got a few more things for this otherwise.  
> Have you ever noticed that all the Hokages are either clan heads or the only member of their family or both?

“You did _what!?”_

Tobirama finds himself amused by the shriek. Kami bless, but Uzumakis have good lungs on them. Even the old ones. He’s pretty sure the Naras heard it clear on the other side of Konoha, where they’re still efficiently building cozy little houses without Hashirama’s aid.

Certainly he and Madara are able to hear it loud and clear a full two blocks away.

“Good thing you thought of a written contract.” He mutters to Madara.

“Hn.”

He rolls his eyes at the smug tone, but doesn’t poke fun at him for it; this time he deserves a moment of smugness. They amble up and wait to be noticed. It takes a full four minutes before the ranting elder notices that Miuna is looking behind him and turns.

“Is there a problem here?” Madara asks mildly, as if they haven’t been listening in since the beginning.

 _“‘Is there a-?’_ Yes! There _is_ a problem! This conniving, avaricious bitch went and got herself a concubine contract even though she has a previous marriage contract! What in the eight hells am I supposed to tell Reitarou? That his bride-to-be is an undutiful wench who doesn’t feel she has to give her family enough face to honor their engagement?”

Madara smiles sweetly and lets loose enough killing intent that the old man staggers back a step. “You can tell him that the next person who says something of the sort about the mother of my children will be eradicated. Oh, and that he can find himself a _willing_ bride. Preferably one who’s not young enough to be his great-granddaughter.”

Tobirama hums to himself and steps forward, pulling Miuna away from the Uzumaki elder and against his side, shielding her from the KI, since she looks a bit pale. Even for him, Madara’s killing intent is a bit much, but he can withstand it better than she can. As for the elder, well, his tongue got him into this, he can just bear the consequences.

_Actually…_

“Where are Hashirama and Mito?” He asks her, ignoring the stammering blustering of the elder and Madara’s unimpressed replies.

“Hm? Oh, Mito-sama said they had something to take care of back on Senju lands.”

 _Riiiight. Sneaking off because they don’t want to wait for the wedding they’ve postponed._ He _reaches_ for the copy of the Hiraishin seal he knows is lying on his desk in the Senju main house, taking Miuna with him. She eeps and grabs his sleeve to steady herself, then lets go and hops down from the desk on her own.

“I suggest ignoring the lack of clothes when you tell my brother and Mito what happened.” He advises.

Miuna gives him a funny look, then nods and asks, “How are you planning to go back?”

He blinks, then winces as he realizes that he has no copies of the seal in Konoha yet and jumps down from the desk himself. _Madara is going to freak._

~

As expected, Madara freaks.

Loudly.

_(Some speculate over drinks later that he was heard clear in Hi no Tera.)_

The unwise Uzumaki elder is simply lucky that Madara guesses where Tobirama has gone and prioritizes that over turning him into a sooty smudge on the street. The poor man is left shaking, eyebrows and silvered black hair smoking slightly from the small fireball Madara spat at him in annoyance as he stormed past once he realized that Tobirama was _not_ instantly returning.

_(A few moments later, he is puzzled to be handed a bag of rice crackers and patted companionably on the head by a passing, sympathetic Akimichi.)_

~

Madara scowls at the robes. “These aren’t the ones we had prepared.”

_In point of fact, the robes look very much like bride and groom robes rather than chief attendant robes._

“It was changed.” Miuna tells them shortly. “Put them on before we’re all late. Madara-sama, you are to stand with Hashirama-sama, and Tobirama-sama, you are to escort Mito-sama up and then stand beside her.”

Since the expected robes are nowhere to be seen, they acquiesce, though with grumbles on Madara’s part.

The whole of Konoha seems to have shown up, including what appears to be the entire Uchiha clan, which is a bit surprising despite the odd popularity Hashirama and Mito enjoy with the clan.

Madara stumbles as Hashirama grabs his wrist at the last moment and switches their positions. Recovering his footing, he looks up to see an equally startled Tobirama being chivvied by Mito into her place.

“What’s this?” Tobirama hisses at her quietly.

She blinks at him innocently. “Your wedding, of course. The Uchihas asked if we were okay with holding a double wedding, since they wanted a proper do, but everyone’s still busy with moving and some further construction. Didn’t they tell you?”

 _The clan?_ Madara shoots a suspicious look at Izuna, who looks rather like he’s swallowed a bug by accident _(a very large, extremely disgusting bug),_ and has Iyasu’s hands firmly wrapped around his bicep, holding him in place. _So he hadn’t planned it?_ That possibility gone, he glares at Hashirama instead.

Hashirama returns his stare with pious innocence. _Right. Like he believes that? This has his oversized and Iyasu’s dainty meddling footprints all over it._

 _Still…_ If he marries Tobirama, then the remaining ones who complain about him will have to shut their mouths. No one can ~~try to take Tobirama away~~ argue the legality of his position within the clan this way. _Apparently he’s getting married today._

~

 Tobirama had never expected to get married and he’s still overwhelmed a bit by the fact that he _is._ As a sensor, he’d always known there was a chance he could meet his match, so considering others had never been an option. Of course there’d always been the possibility of his match rejecting him, and dying as he’d come so near to doing. But a worse possibility had been that his match _would not_ reject him and their bond wouldn’t stay platonic, and he’d end up wronging his spouse. Legally, no one would blame him, a sensor’s bond held precedence over a prior marriage if there was conflict, but he had never wished to be the source of his partner’s suffering. Deliberate cruelty isn’t his style.

He’s still flabbergasted that the Uchiha clan as a whole had planned the wedding, only leaving him and Madara and Izuna _(by his expression, at least)_ out of the loop. Though that Mito and his brother had gone along with it cheerfully surprises him not at all. He just… Well, he doesn’t know quite how to react. He doesn’t know _Madara’s_ reaction either. Sure, he’d gone along with the wedding without comment, but that could simply have been to save face, and his chakra is neutral enough that it’s obvious he’s keeping a tight lid on his emotions. There’s no telling if those emotions are positive, neutral, or flat out rage.

“Why do you have that look on your face?”

Jolting, he looks up and sees that Madara is wearing an intent expression. _No brushing him off, then._  “Um. Are you angry?”

“Angry? Why?”

“I just… Well, they kind of forced you into it.”

“You mean marrying you?”

“Yeah.”

“No.”

“No?”

“Are you angry? Is that why you’re asking?” Madara sounds more curious than concerned.

“No, I- I’m just surprised. I thought maybe you’d be angry at being forced to marry a Senju.”

Madara scoffs. “You’re an Uchiha, not a Senju, no matter who your brother is. The only one who doesn’t remember that is Izuna and a few clan members stuck in the past.”

Tobirama blinks at him, then tilts his head. “Kagami said that too. When did that happen?”

“You’re _my_ sensor, of course you’re an Uchiha.”

 _That…_ Okay, then. He fails to understand Uchiha logic. This is clear now. “Technically that doesn’t make me legally an Uchiha, you realize?”

“I’m the Clan head. If I say you’re an Uchiha, you are. And now even your brother and clan have acknowledged that.” Madara looks smug.

“You are ridiculous.”

“Rude.” Madara huffs and pulls him to his feet. “Come on, those Uzumakis have decided to leave immediately. Something about getting back before the clan suspects foul play. Which is ridiculous, given I know that they’ve been using summons to exchange messages on a weekly basis. They’re probably just scared I’ll set that elder on fire for real if they stick around.”

Tobirama snickers and allows himself to be pulled along. “There is that. And Miuna will be relieved that they’re going. Try not to be too rude to them just because of that one.”

“I’ll treat them with as much courtesy as they show her.” Madara grumps.

“Fine, fine. That’s all I ask.” He replies in a soothing tone.

“Hmph.”

~

Miuna waits until the Uzumaki party is out of sight before looking up at the two men bracketing her protectively. “While I appreciate the support, if you lean on me any harder, I’m going to pass out from lack of air.”

Tobirama gives her an amused look and Madara just ignores her in favor of glowering after the departing shinobi. To be fair, they aren’t _actually_ leaning on her, just standing claustrophobically close. With a sigh, she pokes both of them in the ribs and steps out from between them.

She’s still not sure she made the right decision in offering to make a contract with them _(okay, offering isn’t really the right word, given she’d basically talked them into it)_ , but at least she doesn’t have to marry Reitarou now. No part of being younger than half of her step-daughters sounds like a good idea to her, not to mention that the man is famous for his love of sex. He’d expect it despite her distaste for it, and most likely would be no more faithful to her than he had been to any of his previous wives. And unlike her ~~slutty~~ cousin who seems to think that’s a good thing, she has more pride than that. At least these two are almost certain to be faithful to each other, if not to her. She won’t receive looks of pity here.

And better yet, she won’t be stuck on a windswept island where one can’t escape the smell of the sea and the salt wind. Hurricanes aren’t a common hazard this deep in the Land of Fire, either. Not that they really are in Whirlpool, either, but they’re basically unheard of here.

“Regrets?” Tobirama asks softly.

Miuna turns and blinks at him. _Oh. Right. He’s a sensor and chakra reflects emotional turmoil._ “I- No. Just some self-doubts.”

Madara reaches out and ruffles her hair.

She scowls and slaps at his hand. “What’s that for?”

“There, there.”

It’s something she might expect from Hashirama who is as informal as he can get away with, but not _Madara_ , so she stares for a moment before letting her mouth quirk in amusement. _Men. How typical to think annoying someone equates to cheering them up._

~

Tobirama shivers as Madara nibbles his way up the back of his neck.

“Madara, do you _mind?”_

“Mmn.” Is the pleased, hummed reply.

“Stooop! The house isn’t finished yet, so there’s clan members scheduled to show up soon, and-”

“I told them to show up a couple hours later.”

Madara’s hands slide around his ribcage and his mouth moves up to just under his ear. “You wha-? Gah! Stop, I can’t think when you do that.”

“Good.”

_Oh kami, the self-satisfaction in that tone…_

_“Not_ good. Stop.”

Madara steps back abruptly, taking his hands away. “Really?”

“Yes! Really!” He huffs and takes the few steps necessary to set down the scrolls full of construction plans for important structures in Konoha on the rough, temporary table. “There. Now, if you’d like to relocate to the futon?”

His husband promptly pounces.

Tobirama doesn’t mean to dodge, really, it’s just…dodging Uchihas with a slightly manic look in their eyes has been habit for so many years that it’s become ingrained reflex. He winces at the bone-shaking thud and the spill of scrolls off the rickety table. On the other hand… _not in the dining room, that’s just **wrong**._ Ignoring the cursing behind him, he starts towards the bedroom at a quick pace.

Halfway down the hall, he grunts as Madara catches up with him and shoves him against the wall, but quickly forgets his annoyance as Madara’s hands cup the back of his neck and head. Non-platonic definitely has its benefits; he’ll count it as a successful experiment.

“You are a tease.” Madara breathes against his lips, sounding more amused than frustrated.

“This isn’t the futon.” He points out, not quite managing to keep his tone calm.

Madara laughs and uses his grip to tilt Tobirama’s head down to lean their foreheads together. “Indeed not. We’ll have to fix that, won’t we?”

“Ye- Oomph!” Somehow he keeps forgetting that Madara likes to pick him up and carry him around. Half over his shoulder is a particularly awkward position, though, particularly with all the hair in his face, and he nips said shoulder in retaliation. “I can walk, you know.”

“Mmn. Nope.”

Tobirama jolts as those sneaky hands move on him, and bites down on a moan before spitting out an inadvertent mouthful of black hair. _“Futon!”_

“Yes, koibito.” Madara chuckles, ducking into the bedroom to avoid carelessly bumping his burden against the doorframe, then dropping him on the futon and regarding him with self-satisfaction written in every line of his body. “Futon. As requested.”

Tobirama scowls up at him. “If you don’t get down here and continue what you started, I will not be responsible for my actions.”

Madara looks like he seriously considers not doing so, just to see what he’ll do, but in the end quirks a smile and drops down on top of him. “Demanding.”

 _“Yoooou-!”_ His incipient rant is cut off by firm lips on his, seducing his irritation away.

_Better! Much better._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possessive much, Madara?  
> That particular elder is the only one who goes off on a rant about Miuna’s choices. He’s also not directly part of her family, but a friend of the would-be groom. The groom, who is about three times her age, has the name Reitarou.  
> Sectordweller was kind enough to pick out the name while I was deathly tired and unable to focus on much of anything, much less names.
> 
> Close, Madara, close. You only missed Isui’s contribution to that bit of plotting. To be fair, it’s easy to miss the man’s mischief.
> 
> Miuna tries to be nice about her cousin, but the clan does regard the woman as something of a loose woman. She hasn’t stopped sleeping with whoever catches her eye, she’s just more discreet and careful about not getting pregnant these days. It’s why the family planned to offer Miuna instead of her cousin when asked to provide a bride. It doesn’t help Miuna’s opinion much that her cousin will randomly go on spiels about the wonders of sex when she’s drunk. She feels like: _‘It’s fine if you enjoy it, but I’d really rather NOT hear the details, okay?’_
> 
> There’s a bit of a time gap between the next to last and last scenes.
> 
>  **(Sex scene: fade to black)** If someone has an intense desire to write out the sex scene and does so, I’ll link it, but I don’t plan on writing it out. I’m pretty certain your imaginations are vivid enough to fill in what comes after.


	9. Prank, Kids, a Fight, and More Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobirama has a rough chapter, Izuna has a disturbing one, and Miuna is definitely in charge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might get tweaked a bit later, as I have the nagging feeling it's a bit flat in places, and there's a couple details I need to check when my eyes aren't busy trying to cross.

“Sister-in-law, I brought you a present!” Izuna carols, sounding far too amused.

Tobirama doesn’t even bother to look up. “No.”

“You don’t want a present from me?” Izuna asks in a hurt tone, but the mirth still peeks through too clearly to miss.

“I am not your sister-in-law, so no.”

“Awww.” Izuna coos obnoxiously. “No need to be embarrassed, sister. I’ll just leave the gift here, so you can open it without an audience.”

He blinks a few times, then lifts his head to glare, but Izuna is already disappearing out the door. Idly, he wonders if he can make an anti-Izuna barrier seal for the room, then promptly forgets about it as he goes back to his notes.

…

“What’s this?”

Tobirama looks up at Madara blankly, then realizes he’s looking at Izuna’s prank from earlier. “Izuna said it was a gift.”

“Hn.” _He’s pretty sure that translates to, ‘Really? He finally did? That’s great! He’s finally accepted you as my spouse!’_

He sputters, because really? “You can’t believe that.”

“Hn.” _Which parses, he’s fairly sure, as, ‘Of course. Izuna wouldn’t bring you a gift unless he was sincere about accepting you.’_

“Fine. You can’t say I didn’t warn you!” The Uchiha ability to convey complete epics with one ‘hn’ is both baffling and frustrating in the extreme. He supposes it’s lucky that Madara is too voluble to resort to it often. Just to be safe, he covers his notes as Madara curiously opens the package.

Surprisingly, nothing explodes, no weird jutsus are activated. Worse, Madara hums in approval and lifts something out of the box.

Fancy women’s robes. In Tobirama’s size. _Oh, fuck no._

“Absolutely not.”

Madara turns an _extremely disappointed_ look on him.

…

Miuna takes one look at Tobirama sulking in women’s robes that fit him suspiciously well, Madara’s smug expression, and Izuna’s very poorly concealed self-satisfied glee and snaps just a little. She serves Tobirama first, because he certainly deserves a good meal for putting up with these two idiot brothers. Then serves Madara very small portions, and simply gives him a chiding look when he protests. It’s satisfying when he subsides easily.

Giving Izuna a dangerously sweet smile, she removes his place setting.

He pales.

Her smile turns more saccharine. _“You_ are not funny. Don’t expect to eat here until you decide to act like a grownup instead of a petty child tormenting someone who cannot afford to fight back. And since you obviously have too much money if you’re wasting it on such frivolities, you can expect to contribute half your pay towards household supplies, including food, until such a time as you decide to marry and move out.”

Izuna turns a little green, but wisely doesn’t argue. Just watches morosely as the others eat in front of him. _At least he has a few survival instincts._

_Now…if he’s actually intelligent, he’ll apologize to Tobirama before the week is out. Without pointed prompting._

~

Tobirama cannot say that he expected to get trampled on by a bunch of squabbling kids and ninken play fighting when he got up this morning. If he _had,_ he would have stayed in bed or at least dragged Madara with him as a buffer, for the simple reason that he detests the taste of dirt. Madara, for all that he’s a bit shorter, hardly ever gets bumped into by accident. It’s as if his spikey hair exudes threat of imminent explosion and people’s hindbrains just…make them ooze around him in subconscious self-defense.

“Tobirama-san? Are you alright?”

“I apologize for my rowdy offspring and his friends.” Yama says drily.

He lifts his head and squints when he realizes he’s seeing double of the Inuzuka and the Nara who are apparently meandering after their wayward children. _Nope, still seeing double._ “Write down those brats names for me. I think they’d do well together on a squad.”

Both of the Inuzuka woman gives him a dubious look. “If you say so.”

Tobirama grimaces and rolls to his feet, not realizing he’s listing until the Inuzuka woman’s hand grabs the front of his shirt and hauls him upright, keeping hold until he’s steady on his own two feet.

“Are you _sure_ you’re okay?”

He nods, then thinks better of it, as the motion makes him nauseous. “Concussion. Need to go find Anija so he can check it. Kids need…” Making a vague motion that tilts him sideways again until the Inuzuka steadies him, he gives up trying to articulate that. “And training. Squares. Not roads.”

“Saa, play areas and training grounds? Not a bad idea. Mind if I walk with you? I have some ideas of where to start with those.”

Tobirama blinks at him, then nods shortly and promptly regrets it again, barely registering the Inuzuka woman, all two of her, passing over her grip on him to the twinned Yama. When Yama’s grip urges him forwards, he shuffles in the indicated direction, glad he doesn’t have to figure out what direction is up when his head hurts this much.

“Something funny?” Yama asks after a bit.

Belatedly, he realizes that he’s giggling and probably has been for a while. “The blind leading the concussed. It’s like a cautionary tale!”

Yama snorts in amusement. “Okay, I can see that.”

“You told a joke!”

“I do that sometimes. It’s a secret though.”

He remembers to not nod this time. “Yes, a secret. Like Madara being cuddly cuz he’s a wet hen and fussy, fussy, sweet.”

Someone in front of them chokes worryingly, then asks, “How much did he drink? And where can I find some?”

 _Oh. Izuna._ He lurches away from Yama to reach Izuna and leans in close to tell him solemnly, “Secret, ‘zuna, seeeecret.”

Both of Izuna look properly alarmed at this.

“Ah, he’s actually got a concussion. My brat and his friends kind of ran him over while playing.” Yama says, sounding embarrassed.

“Kind of?” Izuna sounds appalled and amused.

“Accidentally yanked his feet out from under him and trampled over him without even noticing.” Yama clarifies with a wince.

“Yes. Good squad. Good, don’t you think, ‘zuna? There’s two and a half of you. But next time I’m bringing Madara, cuz his hair’s KI keeps people from stepping in him.” Grabbing a lock of Izuna’s hair, he studies it carefully, then shakes his head very, very slowly. “Yours doesn’t have any KI. Not spikey enough. Where’s Anija? I need him to look at my footprints.”

“Uh…” Izuna looks confused, then nods, the other one and a half of him nodding in sync. “How about I take you there?”

“Now it’s the half blind leading the concussed!” He agrees, then remembers Yama. “And Yama. He wants to talk for Anija too!”

_He’s fairly sure he’s just imagining the whimper he hears from Izuna._

~

“Oni woman!”

“Featherbrained brother-complex!”

Naiki Shiranui blinks at the sight of Izuna Uchiha and Touka Senju with their faces close together, practically growling as they exchange insults. “Ya know, if there’s that much sexual tension between you, wouldn’t it be better to work it off in bed instead of flirting in public?”

Both of them recoil, looking disgusted.

“Like hell! I wouldn’t have her even if the sun burned out!” Izuna says indignantly, eyes flickering between red and black.

“You think I’d touch this prissy child? Not even if the seas went dry!” Touka hisses simultaneously, then gives Izuna a rage filled smile, turns on her heel, and walks off.

“Hmph!” Izuna huffs, turning in the opposite direction and stalking off dramatically.

Naiki scratches her head, tapping the senbon securing her bun to make sure it’s still stable, and looks down at her little brother Fuuma. “Do you think it was something I said?”

He shakes his head loyally. “Nuh-uh.”

“Hm. Well maybe they just want to kill each other instead of having sex?” She shrugs. Honestly, she doesn’t understand some people. It’s not like they can’t do both.

~

Miuna is five months pregnant with Tobirama’s child when Mae Uchiha comes running up a little breathlessly and blurts, “Miuna-sama! There’s an Uzumaki with a message for you waiting at the gate! She says there’s not a lot of time, because she has to escort clients who aren’t happy about stopping here even to deliver a message.”

Well, she was bored anyways, and as a kunoichi, she has no problem moving fast even this far pregnant. Now a fight might be another matter, but the distance to the gate? That’s not even a challenge. “Thank you, Mae-chan. Can you inform either Tobirama or Madara where I’ve gone?”

Mae winces at the thought of them finding her gone without notice and nods fervently. “Right away, Miuna-sama!”

The girl darts off and Miuna sighs a little and heaves herself out of her chair, wishing she was one of those women who barely showed even when about to give birth.

 _Okay, so she was wrong, the distance to the gate is a challenge._ Only a bit of one. She’s only a little out of breath. Though she’s gained a sudden appreciation of Madara’s insistence on her not taking missions for the duration of her pregnancies. There is an Uzumaki waiting for her. An older, tired-looking kunoichi not directly related to her. And a bunch of children.

She assumes they’re with the client at first, but the other Uzumaki hands her a letter with one hand and a babe with the other.

“Hang on. Let me get the other two. I couldn’t carry all of them, so I left them in the cart.”

Miuna blinks after her, then awkwardly opens the letter while trying not to drop or wake the sleeping babe.

_*Dearest cousin by marriage,_

_I must admit, I wasn’t too enthused about your family’s choice of bride, given how little we have in common. I must thank you for the great favor you have done me in finding yourself another situation, and gifting me with my lovely wife and my adorable new son. I cannot find words to express how greatly I appreciate this, so, as my lovely wife has informed me that you dislike physical contact with men and have always wanted children, I have arranged for the clan to send you their unwanted orphans as a small way of thanking you. I hope this letter finds you well and happy._

_~Reitarou Uzumaki*_

There’s a second page, but she isn’t going to fumble with it at the moment.

She blinks again and looks at the children more closely. Six. Plus the one in her arms, and… _had she said two more?_ Yes. There she is, toting a squirming, alert child who looks to be about two, and a tot of perhaps three draped over her shoulder limply. The other kunoichi sets down the alert one _(who instantly toddles over to a girl of perhaps seven and grips her skirt)_ and then pauses to give Miuna a doubtful look.

“Er… Do you have someone to help you?”

 _Ah, yes._ Miuna smiles at her sweetly and turns to the gate guards, one of whom is an Uchiha and beckons. _It’s so convenient that the Uchiha treat her like the lady of the clan. Though to be fair, she does take care of most of those duties._

“Yes, Miuna-sama?” He asks politely, then looks dumbfounded when the other kunoichi stuffs the sleeping child into his arms with an expression of relief and stalks back the way she came without a word.

“It seems my clan sent me a gift. Can you spare enough time from gate duty to help me get them home?”

His face turns tragic. “No. I’m sorry, Miuna-sama. Yama-san said he’d put me on D ranks for a month if I left the gate to do someone a favor again.”

“Oh dear. In that case, would you be able to watch the little one there while I get the others home and send someone back for her?”

He perks up instantly. “Of course, Miuna-sama. I’m sure Yama-san will be okay with that.”

_Yama Nara had better be, or she’ll arrange for him to be volunteered to watch all the kiddies under six from all the clans for the next month. It’s a perfectly valid use of his time, given that the temporary jounin commander spends more time in the village than on missions. Particularly given that his assistant has to do all of his paperwork for him, since he’s truly blind. She’s positive that Hashirama and Madara will be happy to help her out in the endeavor._

~

Tobirama looks from Miuna to the kids and back a few times, then hazards, “Delivery from Uzushio?”

The Uzumaki have started building their own village, seeing value in it.

Miuna looks slightly surprise, then nods and hands him the sleeping babe, looking tired. “Apparently my my ex-fiancé very much appreciated his new wife and son and heard I liked children but didn’t want to get married. His way of thanking me. Can you watch them? I need to go get the last one. The Uchiha on gate duty is keeping that one for me.”

He gives her a long look, then hands the babe back and ushers her into a chair. “I’ll get the child, you rest.”

“You don’t have to.” She protests weakly.

Tobirama gives her a dry look. “I think you’d best get to know your new children before Madara barges in and decides they need coddling. Make up a list of things they need for Izuna. You’re going to have your hands too full to deal with that on your own.”

She sighs in acquiescence, and he takes off before she can think up more objections. Retrieving one child is far more preferable than being stuck watching eight of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘wet hen’- Tobirama meant ‘mother hen’ and he’s a bit loopy  
> ‘for Anija’- He meant ‘to Anija’.
> 
> I’ve never had a concussion to my knowledge, but it’s my understanding that severe ones can occasionally induce odd behavior for a bit. Though a certain amount of short term memory loss is a **_far_** more common side effect. I’m taking liberties here in having it affect his verbal filter rather than his short term memory.
> 
> Uzumaki orphans names:  
> Atsumi, female  
> Rinoko, female  
> Seia, female  
> Daichi, male  
> Liran, male  
> Hiro, male  
> Izo, male  
> Kirigaya, male. The oldest of the orphans.  
> Koba, male

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Sensor's Fate- Side Scene](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17293568) by [peppymint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppymint/pseuds/peppymint)




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